What my newborn son has taught me
There’s always stuff hiding in the cracks. The bad days are followed by good days. Sometimes shit happens (even in the bathtub).
I never thought I’d make it to the age of 25, yet along live long enough to create another life. I was in labor for 33 plus hours. My beautiful baby boy came on June 27, 2020, at 12:54 pm. We had a c section. My son’s heart rate kept dropping during the night.
I am a grateful recovering drug addict. I have been sober for 1,121 days before my son came into the world. June 2, 2017, was the day my life changed. I’ve gone through a lot of challenges during my sobriety. My mom had an affair and left her family behind. My stepdad had gone through prostate cancer. My father wanted to commit suicide. I, myself had ended up in the mental ward in the hospital.
That’s the thing about life is there is always stuff hiding in the cracks. Even if it’s not your stuff. My mother having an affair and leaving us broke my f*cking heart. As I cleaned up what she had left behind I realized something. I am not my mother and I don’t have to be her. I don't’ have to pass on the functioning alcoholic lifestyle to my child. So, I spend my days per se keeping my cracks clean.
The thing about bad days is they are followed by many good days. Bad days don’t need to be labeled as bad days. What defines a bad day? I’m grateful for everything I have in my life today because I do know what it is like to not have what I have today. During sobriety, everyone faces life on life's terms. I also accomplished a lot during those times. I had finally gotten a job as a felon, which led to raises and promotions. I became an assistant manager and starting going to store manager classes. I went to a trade school and finished it. I got my certificate of relief because of how well my recovery is doing. I got off probation early. I became a fiancé and a mother. I said f*ck having less and started my own business wanting more for myself and my family.
Life does this thing where it keeps going. It’ll leave you behind if you let it. When shit happens and life gets real. Take a bath with your newborn and when he poops in the tube continue to clean him as you both sit in poopy water. Laugh a little take in moments now rather than later. There is nothing like laughing. Truly laughing the world slows down, maybe, even pauses. Have more I can’t breathe laughs and more of them at 2 am. Tell someone you love that you love them. You never know it could even be your last day.
With love, from love.
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