What’s Stopping You?

Let us have an honest conversation

Vikram Sharma
ILLUMINATION
3 min readJan 15, 2024

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Picture clicked by the Author

Let's start. What is it?

Is it your job? Is it responsibilities?

Is it people interfering and not understanding?

Is it the economy? Is it your circumstances? Is it the effing weather?

Is it your parents? Is it your trauma? Is it your day job? Is it….??

I don’t know what is your exact reason for you but you can fill up those dots according to your convenience.

I will not sit and make a generalized claim that it doesn't matter what your reason is or your reason is not valid by some objective standards. People live tough lives and sometimes there are reasons, genuine reasons that someone might be facing that prevent one from not making the necessary efforts required to make changes in one's life.

Also, Let me say outrightly that it is not “necessary” to make changes. If you are happy & content with the life that you are living, do not think that you must make changes in your life just because the self-help & productivity culture collectively imposes that on you.

But if you feel unsatisfied with the life you are leading. If you feel that you have to make changes in your life to reach your full creative expression of life, then you must have this conversation. It is not worth sitting over and living in that void, that void of dissatisfaction and the feeling of quiet desperation.

“Most men lead a life of quiet desperation. “— Henry David Thoreau.

This quote by Thoreau is scary because it is true. Other than scary or sad I cannot find any other adjectives to describe a life comprising this quiet desperation. For most people, the way to cope with this desperation is to postpone taking action. They give themselves hope that there will be a perfect time to make the changes required to get these things done somewhere in the future.

David Deida in his book, “The Way of Superior Man” talks about this in his way. Chapter 1 of his book is titled, “Stop Hoping for Completion of Anything in Life”.

He says, “Most postponements are lack of creative discipline.”

He talks about this in reference to men/masculine energy, but I think it can be applied to an individual irrespective of gender (although in my opinion, it is much more common in men).

This postponement puts most people in a toxic quasi-inactive state. It is not completely inactive since there is the hope of action somewhere in the “utopian future”, but one is also subconsciously aware that there is so much one can do in the present that one simply ignores, compromises, and delays for the “future”.

Deida also points out the futility of “waiting” for circumstances to be perfect.

He says, “Spend at least one hour every day doing whatever you simply love to do — what you deeply feel you need to do…..in spite of the daily duties that seem to constrain you….be forewarned: you may discover that you don’t, or can’t, do it; that in fact, your fantasy of your future life is simply a fantasy”

In other words, the key is to start now. Take away the idea of “perfect” time to start whatever it is you want. You will be amazed how most of the quiet desperation that I mentioned earlier, is a direct result of your postponement of personal action and accountability.

Start small, spend an hour/thirty minutes/five minutes every day practically doing what you wish to do. Just…start and be honest and open about it. You will either get the strength to pursue or you will find out that your “someday” is just a fantasy you have been engaging in. Either way, you will gain much-required clarity about yourself.

So, Be honest and ask yourself, What's stopping you?

Thank you for reading. I write with the hope that my writing will add some value to your life.

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