JUDGMENT CALL

When a Frat Boy Likes Me, I Know He Has a Weird Mom

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Amy Sea
ILLUMINATION
Published in
3 min readFeb 19, 2022

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“Couple” by jdlasica is licensed under

My girl friend and I were talking the other day. She’s dating this guy who’s intimidated by her. I’m not making this up to make her look superior to him. He says things to her like, “I’m not sure what you see in me” or “what do you think people would think if they saw us together?”

She says, “It’s really annoying because I don’t know what he’s talking about. I adore him.”

“He thinks you’re out of his league,” I said. “He’s not sure what you’re doing with him.”

She moaned.”But why?”

I said, “Isn’t there anyone you would be shocked to find out liked you?”

She thought about it. “Yeah, a 55-year-old rich worldly older man who was used to dating models who were as hairless as seals and had perfect bodies.”

“Wow,” I said. “You’ve really thought about this.”

She had.

“What about you?” she asked.

“Frat boys,” I said. “Whenever one of those polished frat boys liked me, I knew he must have a weird mom. But before I figured that out, I imagined he’d seen me with one of my hot blond friends and he was biding his time until she showed up.”

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Amy Sea
ILLUMINATION

100 X Top Writer, Editor— MuddyUm Editor, Breast Stories Editor-in-Chief — Comedian, Satirist, Humorist, Top Writer. Publisher of Breast Stories.