When going to the supermarket becomes a nightmare?
I bought yoghurt and a USB key and was insulted, criticized, and blamed for it! When people became killers? I don’t want to live in hell. I don’t want to live with you. How can I come from a world full of love, openness, and care for each other and plunge deep down into this nightmarish world?
Life is harsh. Life without love is not life: it’s hell. So welcome to hell! We are all killers! You know it. And I know it. But, I am not the one to judge. I am just like you! Words matter, and the lack of words matters even more. So pull the trigger, go ahead! How many people did you kill today? Did you kill that grandma trying to figure out how to pay? Did you kill that fat child running? Did you kill that mother struggling to raise her kids? Remember it. And start counting the dead body behind you!
I went outside on an errand to buy yoghurt and a USB key. It was a lovely day. I popped my bubble of love with my family into this cold world. No outside sign warmed me. It was below zero in winter as the sun was shining. I park my car in front of the supermarket and bang the car’s door. When I turned around, a young girl on a bike yelled: ‘I saw you bitch, you didn’t see me, but I did. I know what you did!’ Her anger startled me. And anger entered my world. But I tried to push it away. It was a lovely day.
I passed the door of the market and when straight to the yoghurt aisle. Entering the aisle, a man knocked my elbow stating: ‘You’re walking too fast’. Was I? He didn’t apologize. But I pushed his anger away. It was a lovely day.
I took my yoghurt and when down the aisle to the software aisle, took my USB key, and spotted the cashier. I walked faster. A grandma was taking time because she could not open the door to go outside the cashier area. People complained, tramped their feet, and got angry. The cashier reluctantly sit up and went to explain to the grandma she had to put her paper in front of the cash code door to open it. Then, she went back to her chair. The door did not open. The grandma became increasingly worried. You could see she could not stand well.
So, what would you have done? Help her, complain or stand idle.
The cashier got up again, groaning, and reluctantly took the paper, put it in front of the door, and the door miraculously opened… Finally. Did people help the grandma? No. Did bystanders try to assuage her anxiety? No. Did the cashier help her willingly? No. Did the cashier try to be cheerful, kind, and proactive for the grandma? No. She did her job. She did not do her job well! But, it was my turn. I paid and got out of the supermarket. It was a lovely day.
I put the key in the car. Turned the music on. Full volume. And drive home. Fast. I parked my car, took my bags, and banged the door. A child was playing. Another was running. He was fat. Some teenagers made fun of him. It was a small child. They were grown-ups. And grown-ups have fun, don’t they? I passed them, not running, but still. It was a lovely day.
I opened the door of the hallway relieved. Safety. Home. Push the elevator button. Waited dutifully for it. A family entered. I followed. They pushed level one. I pushed level three. At level one, I got out to let them go home. They didn’t say anything. No ‘thank you, mam’. No, ‘have a lovely day, mam’. Nothing. They pushed me out of the elevator and I stand outside. Polite, helpful, and cheerful. It was a lovely day!
I roared! ‘Thank you!’ I yelled. ‘Crazy bitch!’ was their answer. When does the answer to politeness is rudeness? Was I crazy? And what does ‘crazy’ means? Am I crazy to have love to give? Am I crazy to help others? Am I crazy to be happy? Are happy people crazy? Astonishing! I just stared blankly at them. The girl purposely stated: ‘What, he didn’t say anything!’ Yes, that’s the point! He. Didn’t. Say. Anything. He did not say ‘Thank you!’. He did not say ‘Goodbye’! He did not say ‘See you later!’. He did not say ‘anything’. That’s the point! I yelled at her… In my head. My body did not respond. Is saying ‘thank you’ make me crazy? And if so, why? Politeness is craziness. Fine! I prefer to be crazy than impolite! Case solved.
It was not a lovely day. It was hell! Words matter and the lack of words matters even more. We live through a prism. We live through others’ perspectives. Our family. Our friends. Our lover. And our foes. How others see us reflect what we are. The love we received, the hate we give. The kind word we mutter, the hateful word we shout. The joy we express, the anger we feel. The happiness we share, the sorrow we bury.
From our birth, we’re surrounded by words, our parents teach them to us, we learn to write them at school and we use them at work, with our friends and our foes. Politics utter words… And it becomes blurred. Words matters. People matter. Life matters. Words are a weapon. To build a better world. Together. Or to destroy life. Alone. Just a single word.
Lips parting. Tongue brushing the teeth. Sound coming out of your body. One word. Will you destroy life or give life? Will you be a killer or a mother? Will you be a killer or a friend? Will you be a killer or a lover? Will you be a killer or a human? Sorry. My bad. A killer is a human. An inhumane human!
Words are a weapon. Words are power. Will you press the trigger?
