When I Feel Down, I Write Love Letters to Strangers

Helen Olivier (AuDHD)
ILLUMINATION
Published in
3 min readJul 2, 2020
Love letter covered with flowers
Image by Pezibear from Pixabay

It was a beautiful day, but I didn’t see it. There was a war raging inside me. I felt abandoned by everyone I loved. I was overcome by loneliness, frustration, and pain. So I pulled out a pen, a sheet of paper, and I started writing: “Dear Sakshmi…”

I wasn’t seeking help. In fact, I was trying to help her through her pain. I poured the words of support and love on the page. And miraculously, it healed something within me too.

A while ago, I listened to a TED talk by Hannah Brencher, a woman who tried to battle the depression and isolation caused by moving to a new city by writing love letters to anyone who asked. She carried armfuls of love notes for people she never met to the post office. And she started feeling better. Later, inspired by fighting solace in this activity and giving support to others in need, she founded the More Love Letters project.

I love both sending and receiving mail. We still exchange a book worth of letters with one of my childhood friends and an occasional postcard too. I love the feeling of the pen on the paper. I love the connection. And I want to do some good in the world. So I was immediately intrigued.

I looked up the website, and four stories of strangers unfolded before me. Four stories full of grief and pain, but also immense strength. I printed them out, and then one day, when I was feeling lost myself, I started writing.

There are always four life stories on the website. Every month, four lives condensed in a few short paragraphs. Those stories were written by the loved ones who are worried and want to help. A mother. A brother. A friend.

They do not display the home address of the recipient. Instead, the letters are sent to the ‘curators’ — volunteers who make sure that nothing inappropriate goes through. Then they deliver this bundle of love and support to their final destination.

The letters have helped many people in hard life situations. They have even stopped a man from killing himself. As Hannah Brencher said, he now goes to sleep with a package of letters under his pillow. I find this beautiful.

When we are suffering, there is no greater thing than to know that we are not alone, not without support, not without human connections. Surprisingly, I discovered that it runs both ways. In helping someone to feel less alone, I find the genuine human connection I was longing for. When I give, I am receiving too.

So whenever I am feeling blue, I sit down and write love letters to strangers. And now you can too.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like this one about how to teach your brain positive thinking:

Or this one about how dreams feel when they come true:

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Helen Olivier (AuDHD)
ILLUMINATION

Neurodivergent, curious, overthinker, overfeeler. Find my thoughts, love letters to life, freebies and other stuff: https://linktr.ee/helenolivier 🧡