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When ‘Missing Someone’ Feels Like a Lost Skill
It’s a strange thing — not knowing how to miss people. You’d think missing would be instinctive and natural, but it’s not entirely true. It’s learned. And I guess when you have only ever missed one person your entire life, it makes sense that you wouldn’t know how to miss anyone else. In giving my attention, my love, and my focus to that one being, I unintentionally sidelined the entire world — including my family. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I blurred out everything else, until only he was in focus.
And now after years of being away thousands of miles away from my family— I find that I don’t even miss them the way I should. Not during celebrations, not during milestones. I just don’t know how to do it. I feel excitement, yes, when I see them after so long. I feel warmth when I’m around them. But when they’re not there, I don’t long for them. I don’t ache for their presence.
Because missing anyone has always been a singular experience for me. I only ever knew how to miss just one human— with or without his presence. Whether he was next to me or miles away, he was the only one my heart knew how to yearn for. I waited for him. Waited for the random I love you that would mirror mine. Waited for his arrival. Waited for him even when we were sitting next to each other. Waited for that one glance, one laugh, one word. Waited to be part of his…
