Your child is not your happiness
When Parent’s Love Converted Into Control
Build their character, not the future
Before start reading this blog let me ask you one question. One day sooner or later you become a parent, or in case you are. Let say your child comes to you and says “dad I want to share something and I am holding this in my heart from the last 10yrs” and you reply “yes, go head”
Your child replies “I am gay or I am lesbian”.
Now stop reading and think, what you will do? what’s your reaction?
Let me share a real-life story of my friend:
After gathering a lot of courage in his heart he asks his father “I want to marry a boy, I am gay”.
His father looks at him with an angry face and replies “are you crazy, you want to demolish your family’s reputation” don’t ever raise such stupid demands. it’s a big “No” from me.
He replies “I am born this way, what can I do?”
His father slaps him and replies “If you want to marry a boy, it will cost you my death”
After few days my friend committed suicide.
Why suddenly parent’s love turns into hate or control?
There are two reasons, one that parents start thinking that their children are their property and they know what’s best for them and the second reason is a universal reason that is “Other people will think, they have no control over their child or they had not nurtured them well”
Parents have to understand that God has chosen you to be part of a new journey of life that came through you, it’s a privilege. You should support their life, care for them help them grow stronger.
But when things go wrong?
When one day their child starts to understand the world and starts making their own decisions and perspectives. Then they start questioning and asking for permission to do something which is not good according to the parent’s wish.
In that case, parents stop supporting them and start forcing their decisions like “you don’t know the world, You can’t teach your parents what’s right and wrong.
If parents think that their child will make their dream come true. Then they are destroying two dreams — Itsrichpal
So what’s wrong, we parents always think good for our child?
Yes but sorry not all the time. Parents have to understand that they build the character of their child, not the future. But parents start thinking and worrying about the future of their child and stop building their character and the environment which help them to grow.
When you care for a tree you help it to grow and protect it from storms, sun, and animals, It’s not in your hand what the tree will give you in the future and you should not think about that. You should just nourish it well.
Parents are not masters of circus and the child is not the lion. Don’t command them with hunter — Itsrichpal
So you are saying let them choose drugs & alcohol?
No, absolutely not. You should teach and share your experience with them. The bad and good things about the outer world. Because if you don’t share, the street boy or any random person in their life will teach them which might ruin their life.
But remember life is all about 100 slaps, they must be prepared to handle their tough times.
So what should parents do?
Whenever your child thought and thinking are not match with yours, and you are forcing anything on your child. Ask yourself these three questions.
Time changed — Is your situation and right now the situation is different, the world is changing very fast with a dynamic aspect. In earlier times arrange marriages were the best but in today’s era love marriages are also considered as a good way to choose your life partner, In the future, it may be casual to have a homosexual partner. You have to accept the future condition and situations to match the flow.
Let them face — You can teach them your life experience but they can’t feel it till they don’t face the world. Practical experience will make them a better or polished person, if you hide them in your shelter they will never become confident. Let them explore and if they are stuck at any point give them confidence and share your knowledge with them.
It’s not your dream — In most of the reality shows we have seen contestants saying that it’s my parent’s dream”. All Parents should stop thinking that all dreams which they can’t achieve can be achieved through their children. Please don’t force them, let them help with their dreams
Conclusion
Give your child everything they need love, confidence, support, and a good environment to build their character at the best. Don’t expect anything back. Also, I want to tell the young generation that doesn’t forget soon later they will also become parents.
