Whole Of You
Distantly together
Sometimes I step out of this crowd to see how all this works and how human beings are always unique yet similar in their own modes of perseverance in a busy city like this. It may feel like a gale if you observe it closer for a split second in a restless and bustling city.
To you, the gentle breeze
fluttering the leaves along my feet,
Today, you are in the same direction,
which I always wished inside.
I doubt how much uncertainty makes you ready for a perfect future of certainties. When I see people, I tirelessly find myself there from all ages, and what I can clearly see is that change is the only constant in all of our lives.
Of all the protagonists that we became,
and of all the plays we played until today,
At certain points in life, unknowingly
What do you think really mattered?
And if it did, how much of your past
Do you really carry it in your veins today?
If all the moments that we live or feel alive to the fullest in our entire lives are taken as a whole, it would be less than maybe even one-fourth of your lifetime. There will be this exact fleeting moment in life where you realise that you are intensely connected with the present, and I personally believe that it will behold you in times of confusion about your own existence.
You meet new people, laugh your hearts out louder, spend time together for a day, and then bid farewell with goodbye hugs. I find myself connected with people, even those I have yet to meet and those I have passed by. Maybe for a day, you get close to them, express your vulnerabilities, and grieve over them a bit.
There is this inexplicable bond that strangers share for a day. I observe them from a mile away and see how complicated human feelings are but how uncomplicated it becomes when there is this nonjudgmental person to hear them out. With this unsure future of possibilities that you would see them again or not, you start your next journey and then plan your next destination.
Like a river flowing towards a mountain; with a sigh, one fine day you might see all the modes of life you went through with your same old body and brain, like a ship that never stopped sailing through seasons.
Among the numerous winds,
How do you find out what you need?
When the stardust itself is you,
doomed and exhilarating at the same time.
You get lost in the eyes of generous people, see how a stranger cares for you that day, you’ll see the breathtaking view of a mountain, the wind, and the never ageing ocean. Maybe one of those evenings after a sunset, you’ll feel that this time, the air finally gets inside you through all of your parts that shattered you once to a million pieces. You will feel like you can breathe again finally without obstacles and might be wondering how much did your heart did hold once.
I feel that emotions are the only reason that keeps the humans race alive. Emotions, in extremely intense and raw forms. You are born into earth breaking someone’s veins and bleeding the very pain. Then you start living, you love, you fight, you hate, you live, you breathe and then you die. I feel that the whole of this was already carved somewhere, of the people we all would become and of the people with whom we all would fall in love in a lifetime, whole of this.
When you inhale the air from certain places and old monuments through their debris, you may sense all those unlived love of people lived and died, through all the walls and old doors. I wonder how many stories they had to tell and how many went unnoticed for decades, the stories unlived. Of all the battles held, this would have been the most unnoticed yet powerful one. A war with no blood of trace because you can sense it only in the air. How did it stay here all these years? Dearest time, you tell me.
Speaking of the unnoticed ones, there are also people who have been fortunate enough to figure this out in a single journey of time. I have heard that it’s the most concentrated thing in the universe that drives you beyond birth and death. You exactly know how every inch of your soul starts living again.
Your heart skips a beat, you get to know the fire, force, breath, and bliss. You are caught up in the moment with stars in your eyes and you dance in the rain. You start seeing infinities. But I think, like Newton’s third law of motion, there is an irresistible and unpredictable acting force as well. Sometimes it may be that person from your own future with whom you would spend your life comes to part you both and you do not realise it for this lifetime.
Now, some are like shallow water bodies when you analyse their depth together, but who knows if they are already flowing together deep down like a poem written decades before? Does it really matter when you are sure you have another chance in life? I hope you will confront them again next time and wait for the best.
No matter how many realisations you knowingly or unknowingly go through, one day maybe you will feel right and safe there beside that one person and then you both live together for decades and decades, until you remember
Of how hardly you yearned each,
and of how you had a lifetime together.
and of how your children got married a day
of how it made you teary-eyed, then
of how you gave birth, years ago.
of how your first forehead kiss startled you.
of how the heart held a million emotions
In reverse order, you’ll remember everything.
Within a final split of a second, in the last breath.
We live here and we die here, knowingly yet unknowingly, all the time.
I would say, Be brave enough to choose the things you deserve, until life gives you another fair chance.
Love,
Sreelakshmi
