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Whom Do You Call When You Are in a Deep Shit? — Identify Reliable People and Keep Them Close

Having a "reliable someone" to turn to can be invaluable in times of crisis.

Sweety Mohanty, M.Sc.
Published in
5 min readJul 19, 2023

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How often have you picked up your phone in distress to call a buddy but killed the dial tone?

How often do you decide to share something with your parents, but your throat chokes, and you end up smiling?

And my friend, how many times have you wanted to blog about it and scratched the idea because no one gives a penny to it?

Life has the crown of being difficult.

A support system is essential, whether in personal, professional, or emotional turmoil.

However, you have to identify and nurture relationships with trustworthy individuals. It is challenging, and you have to put in the effort.

It took me a while to comprehend the qualities that make someone loyal during difficult times and explore practical strategies for finding such individuals.

The Qualities of Reliable Humans

Reliability is a multifaceted trait that encircles several key markers.

First and foremost, trustworthy individuals exhibit unwavering honesty. They are consistent in their words and actions, letting others count on them.

Reliable people show integrity.
They align with their moral principles. They are accountable for their commitments and take responsibility for their actions.

Another vital quality of a reliable person is empathy.
They possess the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, making them compassionate listeners.

Empathetic individuals offer genuine support and comfort, providing solace during challenging times.

Moreover, reliable individuals exhibit loyalty, standing by your side even when the going gets tough. They are trustworthy confidants who prioritize your well-being and confidentiality.

Finding Reliable Individuals in Personal Relationships

Family, Partner, and Close Friends

One of the primary sources of support during troubling times is family.

They often deeply understand your experiences, making them readily available when needed.

Family members share a bond built on trust, love, and shared experiences, making them reliable support pillars.

Close friends also play a crucial role in providing support.

They are often chosen family members who share similar values and interests.

Trust and loyalty are key factors in cultivating reliable friendships.

Investing time and effort into building strong relationships can result in a dedicated support network during challenging times.

My questions are— do you have someone in your family who can be there for you during difficult times? Can your best friend understand your situation?

If not, we move one and explore more options.

Community Involvement

Support does not always have to come from family.

Look for a community where you find someone with comparable experience.

Community activities can introduce you to individuals who share your interests and values.

Joining clubs, organizations, or volunteering opportunities will let you connect with like-minded people who may become reliable friends.

Community events foster a sense of belonging and open doors to significant relationships.

Thanks to the internet, you can join digital communities also.

Many social media platforms, forums, and online groups cater to specific interests, hobbies, and challenges.

Engage in these communities.
Seek advice.
Share experiences.
Build connections.

You can also look for some support groups.

They bring together people facing similar challenges or circumstances.

They provide a safe space for sharing experiences, empathy, and guidance.

Supporting groups related to specific troubles, such as grief, addiction, or mental health, can help find reliable individuals who understand your struggles.

Finding Reliable Individuals in Professional Environments

Mentors are invaluable resources in professional settings.

These skilled people deliver direction, support, and wisdom, often operating as a sounding board during demanding conditions.

Mentors' expertise and ability to offer advice make them reliable sources of support.

Co-workers can also become reliable individuals in times of trouble.

Building positive working relationships based on morale and reciprocal respect can lead to powerful partnerships.

Share challenges with your trusted colleagues. Seek guidance. It can help relieve stress and locate solutions.

Attend networking events and conferences. You get the opportunity to connect with professionals from various other fields.

Expanding your professional network introduces you to individuals who may become reliable resources.

Sometimes a skill we lack can become the missing piece of the puzzle.

Cultivating these relationships through regular communication and offering support when needed can result in a web of reliable professionals.

Keep Them Close — Fostering Reliable Relationships

1. Communication and Trust

Openly express your need and concerns. Be vulnerable about your emotions. It will foster understanding and strengthen trust.

Active listening is equally important. Respect and validate the other person's experiences too.

Trust is built over time through consistent honesty and reliability.

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any reliable relationship.

2. Reciprocity and Support

Reliable relationships thrive on reciprocity.

Offer support to others. Be empathetic. Assist as they navigate their troubles.

You cultivate a sense of mutual trust and dependability by being reliable to others.

Remember, reliable relationships are a two-way street.

3. Boundaries and Respect

Respecting personal boundaries is crucial in maintaining reliable relationships.

Acknowledge and honor other person's comfort levels and preferences.

Set your boundaries and communicate them effectively. It will promote a healthy and respectful dynamic between two individuals.

4. Quality over Quantity

Prioritize quality over quantity.

Having a few trusted and dependable individuals in your support network is better than a large group with limited reliability.

Focus on nurturing relationships that bring genuine value to your life and offer reciprocal support.

5. Self-Reliance

While relying on others during troubled times is essential, developing self-reliance is equally important.

Building inner strength and resilience lets you steer challenges independently and count on yourself when needed.

Here are some ways to acquire self-reliance:

— Self-Care and Well-being: Prioritize self-care activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and personal growth.

Taking care of yourself empowers you to face difficulties with greater resilience.

— Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness: Developing emotional intelligence and self-awareness allows you to understand your emotions, triggers, and coping mechanisms.

This helps you navigate troubles more effectively and seek appropriate support.

— Problem-Solving and Decision-Making Skills: Sharpening your problem-solving and decision-making skills enhances your ability to overcome challenges independently.

Cultivate critical thinking, resourcefulness, and adaptability to tackle difficulties with confidence.

— Building a Supportive Inner Dialogue: Developing a supportive inner dialogue helps cultivate self-reliance.

Replace self-doubt and negative self-talk with positive affirmations and encouraging thoughts.

Embrace self-compassion and remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities.

In a nutshell

In times of trouble, relying on trustworthy individuals is invaluable.

However, it is essential to remember that cultivating reliable relationships requires effort, communication, and trust.

Ultimately, the journey to find reliable individuals begins with being reliable yourself.

By embodying the qualities of a trustworthy individual, you attract and maintain meaningful connections with others.

Embrace the power of reliable relationships and life's beautiful moments in trouble.

By actively seeking and fostering relationships with reliable individuals, you can build a strong support system that will be there for you in times of trouble, offering guidance, empathy, and strength.

“In the village, he [My friend Moe] said once, “Me and her is buddies, see? If her gate falls, I go and fix it. If I get in a tight for money she helps me if she’s got it, and if she ain’t got it, she gets it for me. We stick together. You got to stick to the bridge that carries you across.”
Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, Cross Creek

You got this!

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Sweety Mohanty, M.Sc.
ILLUMINATION

A Computer Science PhD Student | Writing about the joy of being who I am and how do I recreate to improve.