Why Creating Good Habits is Easier Than Breaking Bad Habits
I told myself for years I would stop picking at my skin, tearing my nails and pulling at my cuticles. For years, I kept doing it. Every time I would fail and absentmindedly revert back to my bad habits, a wave of guilt and frustration would wash over me. Why couldn’t I just sit still? Why does my ADHD manifest into picking? Why can’t I break habits that hurt me?
After years of this cycle of telling myself I’ll stop, then failing, I realized this tactic wasn’t going to work. So, I tried a new one. Instead of ending a bad habit, I decided to try to implement a new one. I began doing my nails.
I noticed every time I had acrylic nails, I was unable to do my bad habits due to the dullness of the tips of the nails and the fact that my nails were covered. My mom would comment on how clear my skin got, my nails grew out and my cuticles stopped bleeding. What started as an occasional pampering became routine for me as I realized this habit prevented me from doing my bad ones.
When I take a break from doing my nails, I revert back to picking. I have not actually broken my habits, but I have found ways to prevent them. This cheat code can be implemented into life in more ways than just skin picking. Losing weight, drinking more water, cutting back on caffeine — most bad habits can be replaced by good ones. Here are my tips on how to do it:
Find a parallel habit you enjoy
The key to forming a habit is enjoyment. I enjoyed the satisfaction that came with popping a whitehead or finally getting that cuticle off, even if it wasn’t good for my skin in the long term. So, you must enjoy the new habit just as much as the old one.
Eat too much processed sugar? Replace it with fruit that tastes similar to the sweets you enjoy. Twirl your hair to the point of breakage? Get a fidget toy or ring to twist in a similar way. Drink too much caffeine? Drink half-caff coffee and prepare it the same way you usually do. There is almost always a similar replacement to a bad habit, it is just a matter of finding it.
Be adaptable
On that note, don’t be discouraged if a new habit doesn’t stick right away. It may take multiple habits or multiple tries at finding a habit to really cut back on your bad habit. Be open to change and make adjustments to your practices.
Fruit not doing it for you? Find low-sugar versions of sweets you enjoy or look up recipes using fruit that bring the flavor closer to your favorite sweets. Fidget toys not providing the same satisfaction as twisting hair? Tie your hair back so it is inaccessible or research toys that involve tassels or ropes to imitate the sensation. Half-caff coffee not tasting the same? Prepare your normal coffee with more water and drink that throughout the day rather than multiple cups, or find a new type of drink you look forward to instead.
Be patient and realize change takes time
Discovering that fake nails prevented my habits took years, so do not be discouraged if you can’t find a habit that sticks right away. It also takes practices, even ones we enjoy, a while to stick and truly become habit. Be gentle on yourself throughout this process.
Press-on nails (I’m rocking on a college budget — don’t judge) went from making me feel pretty to saving my skin and nails. This discovery has allowed me to transform my habits from harmful to helpful or neutral, without the grueling and usually unsuccessful work of breaking a bad habit, and I hope it works for you too. Treating yourself with care is a huge step forward in loving yourself above all else.
