Why Do Adolescents Rebel at the Age of 16–20? What Can You Do?
A happy family lives next door, and I have never seen them argue or fight over anything before. However, a few days ago, I witnessed their 17–18-year-old son arguing with them about something.
I couldn’t understand the problem, but he was speaking loudly, and his parents were listening quietly. His mother was crying, and His father was avoiding contact with him, maybe because it felt like humiliation for them. It was a horrifying scene for any family to witness.
Another neighbor tried to intervene, but he was shouting and damaging household items. After a while, he went out of the house with an angry expression.
Some family members attempted to console the mother and explain that such phases are common for teenagers and that he would understand with maturity.
But what does “this phase” mean? Does every child go through it?
In this article, I will explore various concepts to shed light on why such things happen with high schoolers and teenagers, the impact of parents, friends, and other behaviors on them, and some potential solutions.
Understanding Adolescent Rebellion
Adolescence is the phase of life between childhood and adulthood, from ages 10 to 19. Adolescence is classically defined as occurring from 12 to 22–25 years old.
However, the World Health Organization (WHO) defines an adolescent as any person between ages 10 and 19.
The changes we observe in most of them are common during this phase, but certain factors, such as emotional and mental support, as well as a nurturing environment, can influence the way they manifest.
Let’s understand it with some key aspects:
Physical Change: As we know, adolescence is the onset of puberty, which is marked by significant physical changes.
Adolescents experience growth spurts, changes in body shape, the development of secondary sexual characteristics (e.g., breast development in females, facial hair growth in males), and the maturation of the reproductive system.
Emotional and Psychological Changes: Adolescence is often associated with emotional ups and downs. It’s a time when individuals develop a more complex sense of self, including self-identity, self-esteem, and self-concept.
They may also experience increased emotional intensity and a search for independence.
Social Development: Social Development: Adolescents navigate significant changes in their social lives. They seek greater independence from their families and begin forming peer relationships that can be highly influential. Friendships and social interactions play a crucial role in their lives.
Identity Formation: Adolescents are in the process of forming their own identities. They explore questions related to their values, beliefs, career aspirations, and social roles. This exploration can sometimes involve experimentation and rebellion.
Risk-Taking Behavior: Adolescents are known for engaging in more risk-taking behaviors than other age groups. This can include experimentation with alcohol, drugs, or risky sexual behaviors. It’s partly due to the development of the brain’s reward system and the search for novelty and excitement.
These are some kinds of changes we see in Adolescents, But what about the Relationship between parents?
Parent-Child Relationships During this Period
As adolescents seek greater independence, their relationships with their parents may evolve. It’s common to see a shift from a more parent-dependent relationship to one that involves increased negotiation and autonomy. Conflicts can arise during this transition.
The experience of adolescence can vary significantly based on cultural and societal norms, expectations, and economic conditions.
Most of the time, conflicts can arise due to these reasons:
Some of them try to suppress their feelings, sometimes due to financial difficulties, and sometimes because they want to live the kind of life shown on social media. They may also make poor decisions under the influence of others, and their activities can be influenced by parental behavior.
How can we guide them?
Guiding children through adolescence is a critical task for parents, caregivers, and educators. Adolescents are going through significant physical, emotional, and cognitive changes, and they need support and guidance to help them navigate this period successfully.
Here are some strategies for guiding children through adolescence:
- Encourage open and non-judgmental communication. Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything. Listen actively and empathetically to what they have to say, even if you don’t always agree.
- Help adolescents develop a sense of responsibility by giving them age-appropriate tasks and chores. Please encourage them to manage their time and obligations, such as schoolwork and extracurricular activities.
- Encourage and support their interests and passions. This can help build their self-esteem and a sense of purpose. Please encourage them to manage their time and obligations, such as schoolwork and extracurricular activities.
- Discuss the potential risks associated with behaviors like drugs, alcohol, smoking, abuse, unsafe sex, and reckless driving.
What if you know the child is arguing over nothing, constantly trying to prove you wrong, and shouting? What can you do in this situation?
How to handle an argument?
Dealing with a child who is stubbornly arguing, even when they are wrong, can be a challenging situation for parents.
Here are some strategies to handle such conflicts effectively:
- Stay composed and do your best to remain calm. It’s important not to react with anger or frustration, as it can escalate the situation.
- If the argument becomes heated and unproductive, suggest taking a break. Encourage both you and your child to step away from the situation for a short time to cool off and collect your thoughts.
- Sometimes, arguments occur at inconvenient times. If possible, delay the discussion to a more suitable time when emotions are not running as high. So, Choose the Right Time.
- Do not engage in a power struggle. Instead of asserting authority, aim for cooperation and understanding. Reframe the situation as a problem to solve together. Don’t blame your partner.
- If the behavior persists and becomes a pattern, or if it is causing significant distress within the family, consider seeking guidance from a family therapist or counselor who can provide expert support.
- Reach out to friends, family, or a support network for emotional support and guidance during challenging times. Dealing with a child’s argumentative and confrontational behavior can be emotionally taxing.
Effective communication, understanding, and the application of conflict resolution skills can help resolve conflicts and build a stronger parent-child relationship.
Final Words
I know that sometimes things won’t turn out as we expect. In today’s fast-paced world, we may not fully understand why all these things are happening, and we may struggle to comprehend sudden changes in children’s behavior. It could be due to the influence of their friends or some influencers.
However, this is the time for them to learn and adapt to new experiences. Your support, especially emotional support, can greatly assist them.
Your behavior sets an example for your child. If you want them to be kind and respectful, demonstrating these qualities in your interactions with them and others is essential.
If you are in this age group and are experiencing such feelings or witnessing your friends going through this, you can explain this phase to them, it will also be helpful for them.
I have tried to address some essential points based on my basic understanding.
If you have any additional suggestions or experiences, please feel free to share them in the comment section.
After all, we are here to learn and grow together!
Thank you!
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