Why Do We Care What Others Think? The Science Behind It
Ever think about it? Our thoughts are getting more negative than they used to be. We used to be positive, but we often change how we think so we don’t feel left out.
When I want to buy something, I check the reviews first. If I’m not happy, I look at reviews on other websites for the same product. Why do I do that? Why do I care so much about what people think? Why do we always think about how people act and try to be like them?
This article will answer these questions. Many famous and successful people always say to stay away from negativity. But have you ever wondered why they say that? What happens if we stay in a negative mindset and try to ignore it? I’ll explain this too.
You might have noticed that what young people like changes every few years. You may have heard songs from the 80s and 90s. Most singers tried to sing with meaning or hidden messages. In Shakespeare’s time, most writers and singers expressed their feelings through songs.
But most of today’s songs often have bad words or don’t make much sense. Still, young people like them. Why does this happen? Why are our thoughts influenced by what’s around us? Many questions, but don’t worry, I’ll explain everything in the next five minutes. Just read carefully.
If you don’t want to blindly follow others and want to be your own person, this article will help you.
To get the idea, we’ll look at one experiment.
Experiment
Look at this line. And now, look at these three lines. Can you tell which of them matches that first line? And how sure are you?
Hold that thought and listen to this story. Because most people can get this wrong.
Once upon a time, on the eve of a major religious holiday, a seven-year-old boy was observing his grandmother as she poured an extra glass of wine. When the boy asked who the glass was for, she said that it was for the prophet. The boy didn’t believe her, so his uncle told him to just observe the glass closely.
Full of expectation, the boy watched the glass intently, and suddenly, he thought he saw the level of wine drop just a bit!
In 1951, decades after the incident, our boy became a pioneer in social psychology, determined to rationalize what actually happened that fateful night.
Did some of the wine really disappear, or was he made to believe that?
To find out the truth, he devised an experiment to investigate whether peer pressure can be strong enough to change our perception and make us believe in things that are not true.
Solomon Asch’s conformity experiment was conducted with 123 male college students who were told to be part of a study on visual judgment. Each student was introduced to a group of 6–8 other students, who were, in fact, actors who already knew what the experiment was about.
The group was then gathered in a classroom and shown two cards. The first with one line, and the second with three lines. Each student was then asked to say aloud which line in the second card matched the first one.
The group was seated in such a way that allowed the actors to respond first, leaving the real participant to respond last.
For the first two rounds, the fake students, also known as confederates, gave the correct answer, and the innocent student, known as the subject, said whatever he thought to be true. In the third round, the actors began to respond with a clearly wrong answer.
For the next 12 rounds, dubbed “the critical trials,” all the Confederates would give the obviously wrong answer. So the innocent student could either ignore the majority or ignore the truth. So what did the experiment tell the researchers?
Upon completing 18 rounds with all 123 subjects, the experiment came to the following conclusion.
- 23% of the students always gave the right answer.
- 72% conformed to the majority at least once.
- 5% completely succumbed to peer pressure and always gave the obviously wrong answer.
Asch’s work also showed that if just one other acting student responded correctly, the effect of peer pressure decreased substantially.
The experiment also showed that the opinions of three peers are enough to influence a student to change his mind.
Increasing the number beyond three confederates did not increase the levels of conformity among others.
If 3 people say something obviously wrong and there is no one to disagree with them, many of us agree with the wrong answer and start lying, due to our deeply human desire to fit in.
Since then, Asch’s experiment has been successfully replicated many times, and the effect remains significant, especially among women and homogeneous peer groups.
In 1955, Asch famously said: “The tendency to conformity in our society is so strong that reasonably intelligent and well-meaning young people are willing to call white, black. This is a matter of concern. It raises questions about our ways of education and about the values that guide our conduct.”
Let’s try to answer all the above questions according to this experiment:
1. Why Do Our Thoughts Become More Negative Over Time?
While Asch’s experiment primarily focused on conformity, it indirectly relates to the shift toward negative thinking.
The experiment demonstrated that individuals are willing to go against their better judgment to fit in with a group, revealing the extent to which societal pressures can influence our thought patterns and choices.
This is the reason we often change our behavior and thoughts to align with the group and fit in.
2. Why Do We Care So Much About What People Think?
The Asch conformity experiment directly addresses this question. It showed that when faced with a group of people providing incorrect answers, many participants conformed to the majority opinion, even when it contradicted their own perceptions.
This highlights the powerful influence of the desire to fit in and align with others’ beliefs and thoughts.
It reveals that many individuals are willing to go along with the majority, even when it contradicts their own perceptions, highlighting the strong human desire to conform and be accepted by others.
3. Why do successful people advise us to stay away from negativity?
The experiment also showed that the opinions of three peers are enough to influence a student to change his mind.
If you are surrounded by negativity or negative people, no matter how hard you try to ignore them, the impact of their negativity will always affect you.
Therefore, successful people are advised, to avoid succumbing to negative influences.
4. How Does Our Environment Shape Our Preferences And Thoughts?
The experiment indirectly suggests that our environment significantly shapes our preferences and thoughts.
The Asch experiment revealed that conformity is more pronounced when multiple peers agree, showing that our surroundings and the opinions of those around us can strongly influence our choices and beliefs.
The need for social acceptance and the pressure to fit in can override our own preferences and thoughts, highlighting the powerful impact of our surroundings on our behavior and decision-making.
5. Can We Resist the Pressure to Conform and Be Our Own Person?
Asch’s experiment illustrates the challenges of resisting conformity when surrounded by a majority with opposing views. However, the study also suggests that even one dissenting voice can substantially reduce the impact of peer pressure.
This indicates that it is possible to resist conformity and be one’s own person, but it may require the courage to go against the majority.
This highlights the importance of self-awareness, self-confidence, and a supportive social context in maintaining individuality in the face of conformity pressures.
Final Thoughts
You might have noticed that our thoughts are influenced by our surroundings, and we often follow the majority, even when it’s not the right path.
But remember, you can resist peer pressure and be yourself. I learned this valuable lesson from the experiment and wanted to share it with you.
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