Why do we shout in anger?
Is it normal or needs our attention?
Shouting or yelling in anger is something everyone experiences in their lifetime. Some people do it regularly, but we are all guilty of it at some point in life.
Most people shout because it is their coping mechanism when they are angry. This is how they vent their anger.
If we want to live a healthy and happy life, we must learn to control our anger and shouting.
This reminds me of a story, my mother would often tell me when I shouted in anger on someone, while I was young. This has a very different explanation of shouting associated with anger and had a deep impact on me.
Story of a saint explaining, “Why people in anger shout at each other.”
A Hindu saint who was once visiting river Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled, and asked.
‘Why do people in anger shout at each other?’
The disciples thought for a while, then one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’
‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say softly,’ asked the saint.
The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally, the saint explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.”
What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’
The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally, they need not even whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’
How the story impacted me?
Initially, as a young boy in his twenties, I didn’t realize the actual importance of this story. I took my mother’s words lightly, until a day when an incident happened with me.
One of my close friends borrowed my scooter for some urgent work. When he came back to return, I found it damaged. I was very possessive about my scooter and got wild to see it damaged.
I started shouting at him without listening and did not allow him to explain. I used insulting language. He tried to calm me down but to no avail. He too got angry and left in disgrace.
I was still disappointed with the damage to my scooter, however after sometime cooled down. I called my friend to find out what happened.
I came to know that he took the scooter to carry a person in his neighborhood to the hospital. On way, a dog suddenly came in front and both of them fell and were injured. He somehow managed to take the person to the hospital. The person was critical. He got him admitted and immediately came to return the scooter and wanted to tell me that he will get it repaired as soon as possible.
Long story short, this incident made me really ashamed of my behavior and I realized the moral of the story that our hearts distant a lot when we are angry. If I could behave like this with my good friend, then what can it be with unknown or less known persons?
The realization.
I would summarize my realization as under -
- Never react without understanding the whole scenario
- Instead of reacting, respond to a situation
- Shouting does not help, it only worsen the situation
- Shouting is not good for our health
- Anger and shouting can spoil relationships
We should always take care of our emotions and avoid anger and shouting. The more we realize this, the more it’s better for us.
Few of my other stories, that you will find interesting. Click on the Title to read -
