Why do we tend to seek attention from those who do not give us attention
As human beings in this world, many of us crave attention and it is a part of human nature. With attention comes recognition which opens doors to many different opportunities. But why is it that we seek attention from people who do not give us attention? And why do people not want to give their attention?
1. Validation
As human beings, we seek validation from other people because we want people to view us through good eyes. Even though many of us might say, “I don’t care what other people think of me”, deep in our hearts there is a part of us that does care what other people think. When people don’t give us attention it makes us question, what could I be doing wrong that would make this person, not like me? Then, we try to find faults within ourselves and our own lives that deter us from being our most confident selves. A feeling of inferiority also kicks in a lot of the times where we feel that since the other person is not giving us attention, they are superior to us. As humans, sometimes it is difficult to accept rejection and being ignored, but just because someone has rejected you or not given you the attention that you crave and desire does not mean you are not adding impact to this world.
2. Understanding
Sometimes we also try to seek attention from those who don’t give us attention because we want to understand the thoughts and minds of the other person. People have journeys and stories that they don’t speak to the world and sometimes, we want their attention to understand their point of view so we can be there for them. In this situation, it’s not the person who is trying to seek attention but rather, it is the person who does not want to put in their time and energy. They might not be willing to open up and give attention because it makes them vulnerable, but it is okay to be vulnerable. With vulnerability comes a much greater understanding of emotions and connections with people. You don’t only learn things about yourself but you also learn about other people which you might not have learned if you didn’t give your attention and time.
3. Healthy Relationships
At the end of the day, attention comes into play in building a relationship whether it be with friends, family, or other colleagues. When the same energy is reciprocated from both sides of the relationship, it’s a good feeling and good vibes are released into the world. When one person is seeking attention and the other does not desire to give, that feels more one-sided. When only one side of the relationship is giving validation and understanding that is a relationship that probably won’t be beneficial in your life and will cause unnecessary heartache and drama, so it’s better to cut it off. It could be that that relationship is not meant to be. Maybe you’re on the opposite end and you are not giving attention. If there is a reason why you’re not giving the other individual your energy and time, it’s good to be direct and tell that other person even if it might hurt them. If you’re not giving the other individual your energy and time because you’re scared of attachment or that they won’t understand your feelings and journey, it’s okay to be vulnerable! You got this, I believe in you!
