Why It Can Feel Good to Give Presents With Nothing in Return
How to make your mindset more selfless
I like to make presents a lot, but I often get none in return. However, I still make people presents with joy — why?
These past few days I’ve been super excited because a few friends of mine have birthdays coming up, and I love making birthday presents. I remember for a long time, I struggled to come up with good birthday presents because as everyone got older, people’s interests became more ambiguous. It wasn’t like you could just buy the most popular game or toy like you could when everyone was younger. I could never figure out what people wanted.
I often settled for a small basket with candy, nail polish, and other materialistic things that were fun for about an hour. But, in my head, it was better than giving nothing.
However, in the past few years I’ve realized that making presents should be meaningful.
I’ve noticed people get more excited to get one meaningful gift that is personalized than to get a box of candy that anybody else could give them. Additionally, giving people more personalized gifts often means they can keep it for longer.
Now gift giving isn’t huge with a lot of my friends. We all wish each other happy birthday and celebrate, but I often don’t receive presents as much as I like to give them. But even then, I’ve noticed that I simply do not care. Even though I don’t get that many presents from friends on my birthday, I still love to make presents for my friends not only because it makes me happy to see their reaction, but also because I really enjoy making them.
So let’s talk about it a little. How can it feel good to give presents knowing you may not get one in return? For me, it feels good because of two things:
1. Their reaction
Giving personalized presents to people is something that no one else can give them, and you can tell with their appreciation. Now obviously, know your audience — there will always be a handful of people who may appreciate quantity of money spent over quality of a handmade gift. But I’ve noticed that people can also like the simple things, and things that no one else can give them.
Their reactions are normally surprised and excited. It always gets me excited to see my friend’s faces when you give them something they never expected. It’s heartwarming. It makes me feel like I accomplished my goal and made their day even a little better.
2. My time
Although I don’t always get presents or things in return, I never feel upset or think my time was wasted giving them a present because frankly, I can get bored sometimes. But when I find a cool idea for a gift I can make that I find entertaining for myself, I’m beyond excited. It takes up some of my time, but it’s still fun to do. It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something productive.
I think there are some really awesome craft ideas that can make amazing presents. I’ve made fake Vogue magazines for $6 on blurb.com, Spotify Glass Art for free, and found $1-$5 baskets to pack my present in the clearance sections of Target and Michael's that make better presents than some of the $50 things I’ve bought before. There are countless ideas out on the internet that can help inspire you to create something easily.
Normally the thing that can make one feel less excited when they don’t get something in return is the quantity and quality of what they did.
If someone spends more money on something that wasn’t necessarily a productive part of their day, and they don’t get anything in return, this can be disappointing.
However, if someone spends a little more time to make something that was fun and productive for them to do, and they don’t get anything in return, this person may be less likely to feel as disappointed because it was fun for them and for the gift receiver.
Typically I’ve also found that spending your time rather than your money is less of a strain on your mindset. Most of the time people don’t even realize the time that they lost making something, especially if you enjoy making whatever it is.
But, it’s easier to remember how much money you spent on something and realizing you got nothing in return. This can change your mindset to be angry, upset, and less excited about the presents you give other people.
With this, I encourage you to find what you like to do. This is the key to making a good gift and having a good mindset about giving the gift. Maybe you’re good at making movies — create a short compilation of all your pictures and videos with your friend and send it to them. Or maybe you’re an artist and good at painting — paint a pretty background on a canvas and put a small photo collage on it with your favorite memories with your friend. Maybe you don’t know what to do — ask your other friends to each send a quote about your gift receiver and write them all down on a glass and frame it.
There are countless ways that you can make a meaningful gift for someone that is personal, original, but also doesn’t require you to spend that much that money. I think all of these things put together will create a positive mindset for you that becomes more selfless.
Rather than worrying about what’s the most expensive gift you can buy or wondering what you might get in return, focus on making something that no one else can get them and make sure it’s something that you enjoy making. This will make it seem more like a fun activity than a chore at every second.
Making positive experiences for you and your your gift receiver are the key to creating a positive and selfless mindset that doesn’t weigh you down or limit you, but still allows you to spread joy to others.
And if all else fails, you can always get some candy at your nearby store :)
