Why Starting Over in Your 40s Feels Scary — And Why That’s a Good Sign

Every 40+ dreamer needs this.

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For years, comparison was my addiction. I didn’t call it that at the time, but looking back — it was everywhere. It showed up when I walked into a coworker’s office, lined with awards and promotions, while I silently wondered why I was still at the same desk year after year.

It showed up at family gatherings, when my cousins would talk about their growing businesses, and I felt like the odd one out — the late bloomer, the one still “figuring things out” in my 30s.

And it showed up most painfully when I looked at my own reflection, comparing who I was to who I thought I should’ve been by now.

Comparison feels sneaky because it disguises itself as motivation. You think, “if I measure myself against others, I’ll know what to aim for.” But instead of fueling me, it drained me. It stole my energy and replayed other people’s progress like a movie where I wasn’t even part of the cast.

Part of this ran deeper than surface-level envy. Trauma from my past had already planted seeds of “not enough.” Growing up, I carried experiences that left me questioning my worth — whether I was lovable, capable, or even deserving of success. So every time I compared myself, it wasn’t just about…