Why You Can’t Do What You Want
And how to do it.
Resistance. It’s the one thing that’s stopping you from doing everything you want to do. It’s something which can’t be seen, touched or heard but it’s there.
The definition of resistance in the Cambridge Dictionary is ‘the act of fighting against something that is attacking you, or refusing to accept’. Every time you have a task that you want to complete, an activity you need to do, you’ll most likely encounter resistance.
Everybody in their day-to-day life experiences resistance to some level. In the paragraphs that follow, I’ll talk about some ways I have found to combat resistance.
When you feel resistance:
Resistance is felt for several reasons It’s the feeling of feeling like you can’t do something, or like you don’t want to do something which you should be doing. Almost like there is something pulling you away from your work. The list below is when resistance is felt most. Some points may sound very familiar to you.
The feeling of resistance is felt most when:
- Doing something outside of your comfort zone.
- You are not used to doing the activity.
- It requires effort.
- You don’t know what the experience will be like.
- You feel nervous.
- It is a new experience.
- You fear the judgement of others.
- You fear embarrassing yourself.
There are more but they are most likely a subcategory of the points listed. A lot of reasons for feeling resistance, right? Luckily, there are also ways of combatting resistance too that we will be talking about next.
Disclaimer: These ways for combating resistance are what I have found from my experience. There may be other ways that you or others have found that have not been described on this list. There is no right or wrong way of combatting resistance, it’s just whatever works for you or what doesn’t. Some of these methods may not work for everything. If not, move on to the next option. I have listed a few reasons below to give the reader a choice.
Steps for best combatting resistance. (what I found):
Preparing –
When you are looking to do an activity where you are most likely to encounter resistance, this could go to the gym, doing your college or Uni work, or cleaning your room. The first and most helpful step that you should do is preparing. Set out what you want to do, get your objective for the day clear and get your equipment/ tools ready. If you’re doing your college work, set out clearly what you need to do for the day. Do you need to read the next chapter for your course? Do you have an assignment due? Well, set out how much you need to read today, or how many words you need to write. Even if you need to write out what you need to do to remember, do it. It is much easier to do a task when you know what you have to do. Go in with a plan.
When preparing (maybe the night before), also do something such as, charging up your computer and put it on your desk in sight ready for when you are going to work tomorrow for example. By doing this, you are less likely to forget about the task as the computer is there to remind you and it is one less thing to do when you are going to start. Even something as small as getting your computer ready can help you make the step forward of doing the work.
If you didn’t prepare the computer, maybe you would have used the excuse ‘my computer isn’t charged, that’s going to take a while, I’ll do it later or tomorrow’ and resistance would have stopped you from doing your work again. You would have procrastinated. It’s about reducing as much friction as possible when doing the task.
Eliminating distraction. –
When doing any activity, you always encounter distractions. They are in every type of environment. However, there are steps you can take to help reduce distractions and even eliminate some completely.
Try turning off your phone, putting it on silent or even in another room. If you use your phone to do your work, go onto the settings and disable notifications from apps that are likely to distract you or try putting your phone in focus mode.
If you live with people, let them know when you are doing your work and for how long so that they know when your work is taking place not to come and disturb you.
One more thing you could also try is tidying up. Probably everybody’s least favourite form of eliminating distractions, but the most important. If you have ever tried working in a messy environment, you will understand. Try cleaning up wherever you are working, whether that is your room, kitchen, office etc. and then try working. You find that you can focus better than before it was clean.
Do what you want to do, but start small. –
Doing an activity where you encounter resistance can be difficult, especially if it is a big activity. Whatever you are doing, whatever kind of activity, see if you can break it down into small components that are more manageable at first, then gradually over time doing the activity a little longer to build up your stamina for the activity.
If you have a book to read, read one page a day. After a few days, move up to two pages, then three and so on. Although reading a page a day may be small, too small for what you want to do at first, it is an achievable thing that can be done and built up.
By starting small, you have less to do, hence you encounter less resistance.
Finding motivation –
If you rely solely on motivation to do your work, then whenever motivation isn’t there, it’ll stop you from working. This is something we are trying to avoid. However, if you need motivation to get you going, don’t worry, there are things you can do to get you moving. Some days when I feel unmotivated to practice skills or go to the gym, even though I know I should do the task, I just head over to Spotify and put on some Rob Dial, the mindset mentor. It may seem cliché but putting on a motivational/self-development podcast and videos but it can make all the difference on those sluggish days. So just head over to YouTube or Spotify and find something to get you moving. (Podcast, music or videos).
Thinking long-term (would your future self be happy) –
Sometimes when encountering resistance, put things into perspective and take a step back. Decide what is most important and ask yourself questions such as “will my future self be happy if I don’t do this thing?”, “what’s more important? Sitting down and doing my work for an hour or going on Xbox for an hour,” or “Have I earned the reward of going out with my friends tonight?”.
When you ask questions like this, weighing up decisions, you can see what is more important instead of acting on impulse and going for reward straight away.
Remember, this doesn’t mean you cannot treat yourself or have a break every so often, as sometimes it is needed to keep moving forward.
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped,” — Tony Robbins
Take away:
- Prepare for your activity.
- Eliminate as many distractions as you can.
- Start your activity small and build it up.
- Find motivation if you need it.
- Think long-term and ask yourself the question about what is most important.
Every time you don’t do the activity that you wanted to do, resistance wins. Nothing will ever change with resistance in the back seat. You have to remember why you are doing what you are doing and remind yourself of what you are working towards.
Thank you for taking the time to read my article. If you found it helpful and think it could help someone else, then please share it with them.
I’m an independent writer, writing mainly on self-development. I occasionally write on personal experiences, interest, business, criminology, books and places. If you are looking for a way to better yourself, then please read some of my other articles linked below as you may also benefit from and enjoy them.
Thank you again.
My other articles:
