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Why You Should Always Have Expectations of Others

Photo by Trinity Kubassek:

Relationships and expectations are bound together.

For every form of relationship comes the accompanying expectations of duties, responsibilities, and actions. To separate expectations from relationships is to do away with the essence of relationships altogether.

I often hear advice from people not to have any expectations of people because they may disappoint you. That might seem like a piece of good advice on the surface but following that advice, you’ll find that your relationships lack any soul and meaning. To have a lover is to expect some support and compassion from them.

If being in a romantic relationship or even friendship means that we have to constantly have zero expectations of one another then we are not enjoying that relationship at its best.

Beneath approaching relationships devoid of expectation is fear — fear of disappointment. Fear is valid but when we set out to start a relationship based on the fear of the unknown maybe we shouldn’t be in the relationship to start with.

Instead of having zero expectations of friends and partners, we should instead have a lot of expectations of them however bearing in mind that they are human and they won’t meet all our expectations

We should hold space for them

We should manage our expectations

Holding yourself and the closest people around you to a high standard is more decisive because you know what you want and if they are not providing you with it, you can let them go. It is a way of standing up for yourself and showing self-love.

Understand the changing human nature

It is necessarily not a good or bad thing if we view it holistically. Our feelings are constantly changing and when other people’s feeling change towards us, even when it hurts, understanding that it is only human nature puts things in perspective.

The advice not to expect anything from anyone won’t prevent you from the hurt. Expectations are the thread of human relationships. You have friends and to call someone your friend is to expect basic interaction and support from them. The advice should be to manage our expectations and understand that people are human. Feelings change and them changing how they feel about us doesn’t necessarily have to reflect badly on us. It’s not because we are bad or unworthy but like many things in life, it is a paradox.

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Toyin Zuleiha

Toyin Zuleiha


I like to expand your perspective and world view with my words. How To Put Yourself Out There on Social Media- course #ZuleihaXpressions