Worrying Is Probably Killing You
It can have debilitating effects
Last night, I watched a podcast of Yuvraj Singh, a famous Indian former cricketer, where he subtly hinted that the pressure and stress of playing international cricket could have contributed to his cancer.
I think there is enough research now to suggest that stress and worry can have debilitating effects on our bodies.
But how do we stop ourselves from worrying? Is it possible?
Some basics
First things first, we all know that there is no point in worrying about things that we can’t control.
This also includes half of our relationships.
What I mean is this — while we can be our most loyal, kind, empathetic versions, what the other person decides to do is not our problem. It’s theirs.
Easier said than done I know.
What did my father teach me about worrying?
My father is one of those who genuinely cares little about the things he doesn’t control. Interestingly, he hardly ‘worries’ about the things that are in his control too.
He has somehow mastered the art of not worrying or giving a f*** like Mark Manson.
“If you’ve done the work or know that you can do it, why worry?” he says.
There are three key aspects to his personality that I think help him with that.
He’s very optimistic
My father thrives on optimism. And when you have that quality, you have little time to worry. You always hope for the best and even if things don’t go your way, you are happy that you tried. So, you don’t worry too much about a bad result.
So, choose to look at the bright side.
He’s self-confident
If I had to be jealous of my dad’s qualities, I’d pick self-confidence. I’ve seen how much of a difference his self-belief has made. He’s built a part-time singing/karaoke club, he’s acted in ad films, published a few books, and continued to write at a lightning pace.
When you know you’ve got your back, nothing feels unattainable. You know you have it in you and will pull it off.
And contrary to popular belief, you build confidence by doing something repeatedly, identifying mistakes, and getting better at it. Not just by positive affirmations.
He has the memory of a goldfish
My dad lives in the now. I don’t think he even knows it. But seldom do I find him ruminating on the past or speculating about the future.
He doesn’t meditate or take time to sit quietly, but he reads a lot. And he keeps writing his thoughts in his journal made of one-sided paper.
Though I’ve never asked him, I think this process of reading and writing helps him clear his mind effectively.
Putting in the work
I see that a lot of people today continue to worry about the consequences (both real and imaginary) instead of first putting in the hard yards. Unless you do the work, you’re not even going to know how it’s going to turn out.
A better job, losing weight, sleeping well, being productive — whatever it is, I think the secret to not worrying is to approach it with optimism, be confident, and only focus on the present by adopting the memory of a goldfish theory, a la Ted Lasso.
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