Writing When I Have Nothing to Say
I’m doing it as I type this sentence
For most of my life, I have written to let some intense feelings out or to organize my thoughts. In my journals, you’ll find my teenage angst, hopeful dreams, heavy depressive thoughts as well as ambitious plans. I have turned to paper in times of doubt, desperation, and even joy; and have always been rewarded with relief.
So in this relatively new decision to write on Medium, I find myself dumbfounded. I thought it would come naturally to me, after all I’m no stranger to writing. But as it turns out, it takes so much more to write regularly, than just sharing my thoughts and deepfelt emotions as they come up.
I must write consistently, everyday even — as many Medium articles would have me believe. In fact, I must force myself if necessary, even if all I come up with is nonsensical gibberish.
How do I do that when all I’ve ever known is to write with purpose? Should I intentionally seek out reasons to write, topics to talk about, or anecdotes to share?
That feels unauthentic and insincere.
But it also feels… like an exercise. An exercise in organizing thought, in clarity of communication, and in the generation of new ideas.
Now when I write, it is no longer relief that I leave my desk with, but rather a feeling of having struggled and overcome. In my last few drafts and idea-dumping sessions, I have often even surprised myself with the words I’ve put down.
And so I plan to do what they say — stay consistent. Write when I have nothing to write about.
I wonder whether over time, this practice will reveal my lack of skill or a new kind of writing I haven’t seen myself product yet. Either way, this is going to be a ride of discovery and creation, and I certainly look forward to it!
