You are a Woman!
Dedicated to everyone who needs to read it.
A few days back, I was volunteering my time to create social media captions for this charity I work for, and the latest post I needed to ideate for was to be drafted for the upcoming International Women’s Day. There’s a theme every year, ‘Embrace Equity’ being the theme this year. In the words of the official website ‘Equity isn’t just nice-to-have, it’s a must-have’. It expanded on the challenges women all over the world encounter, and how it’s not just about fighting for a cause, it’s about being truly valued. Once I read through it, it reminded me of my own journey, whispering memories and what an unsung adventure life truly is.
This article is a collection of snippets that I am inspired by and aspire to live by. Divided into attributes, the sections narrate the saga of living a woman’s life and how we can all carve our own niches and be fulfilled by them. It is by no means a guidebook, the author understands that each human being, irrespective of gender, or any segregation, is unique and that we all have our own lives. The notes are simply shared with the hope that they can provide a few positive minutes of reading, and if it creates even a semblance of assurance, well, it’s all worth it!
The Yellow List
(For those irreverent to the idiosyncrasies of life)
Self Belief [You are you, believe it]
Quite often, I read on LinkedIn posts by top executives, on how they wished women believed more in themselves, citing a situation where the woman executive was more than capable, but lacked the belief in themselves to follow through. When the society you live in questions & jitters about every single thing you do, coupled with the surmounting fear of judgment, it becomes very natural to second guess yourself. Am I good enough? Self-doubt rings in, and that troubles many of us greatly. It may poke insecurities that many young girls never thought of. If I am a professional, do I measure up to the position I dream of? If I am a housewife, do people realize I am more than the box they tick in introductions?
We need to realize that we don’t need to prove anything to anyone. As long as we believe in ourselves, we can keep leading our lives, one step at a time. Yes, it may not be easy. No, you may not believe it on day one. But it is the realization that there’s no one like you on the planet, that in many precious little parts, you will always be unique, that can build a foundation. Self-belief might never be a constant state of mind, it may be something we are on a lifelong journey to achieve, but we need to take the first step. For every side eye aimed at you, smile and move on, it’s your world, and you can do without some jesters!
Don’t try to squeeze into a glass slipper. Instead, shatter the glass ceiling.
Priyanka Chopra
Ambition [Your life, your choice]
This is especially penned for those who were in any way given the impression that having ambition was wrong or negative. Everyone loves a box, to neatly put people inside them with well-labeled stickers, to make things easier for the narrowness of their minds. That’s one sticker we can do without! Our choices are our own to make, and while we do have the responsibility to see through them, no one else will live them for us. Life is too short, go for what you want, and do it in the way you like. Of all the limitations we may encounter, one of the biggest ones might be ourselves. Not to give the war cry of shattering the glass ceilings, but it is more about building your own ceiling, designing the interior and continuously elevating it as we deem fit. For everyone who doubted you, put you down, show them all! But most importantly, show yourself. Do it for yourself.
Whatever you are made of, be the best of that.
Anne Hathway
Confidence [The shimmer of your shadow]
The word ‘enough’ might sometimes hold more weight than we give it the credit for. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not reliable enough — the usual insufficiencies of business. There will always be people you see around with demands or chasms that you can never fill, so better to save time and energy and focus on ourselves. You are not a string to be measured by someone else’s scale, you are your own shooting star, so don’t fall for others' wishes. Understand that it is easier said than done, that words affect us more than we show outwardly, and that’s okay.
This also underlines the importance of surrounding yourself with individuals who cherish you for who you are, in victories and defeats alike. You may ask where are these people? I can’t spot any. In case you can’t, please find a mirror first. That’s one person who is happy at your successes and sad at the low moments. That’s a start. Confidence is not simply about building an iron will, closing our eyes to criticisms, or tuning out negatives, it is about facing the harshness head-on, letting it glide on the ground, and moving ahead with the belief, that no, forget ‘enough’, we are good. We always were.
My life didn’t please me, so I created my life.
Coco Chanel
Financial Independence [Sometimes, it’s more than dollars]
What makes the world go round? In the current structure of the society we live in, the socio-economic strata do play a big role. You may say money doesn’t matter. You may be saying that with a full stomach. And a roof over your head. Especially for women, financial independence is crucial. Who your husband is or what family you come from or what you do in life, it is very important that you are self-reliant in terms of sustenance and finances. The harsh reality is that financial independence is tied to your ability to take your own decisions and live your own life. Otherwise, it is always someone else pulling the strings. You might not be a born millionaire, but there’s always someplace to start. Even if it’s zero, doesn't matter, you have nothing to lose. And the world to gain.
Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.
Oprah Winfrey
Perseverance [I am my own army]
Life is not the same for everyone. It is easy to sit in front of a screen and say, ‘You know what, I would have done that had I been there’. To actually experience, is an altogether different ballgame. ‘Never giving up’ is a good motto to live up to. Those who shed blood, sweat, and tears while living up to it, are the best placed to vouch for it. It is also necessary to understand the difference between giving up and cutting something from your life for the better. For things you love, are passionate about, your dreams, and hopes, please never give up. It is you vs the hard patch. And you are a winner! For things that cause you grief, sorrow, self-doubt, or any negative emotions, please cut them away. You can never give them up because they were never worth having in the first place.
To the doubters and naysayers and everyone who gave me hell and said I could not, that I would not or I must not — your resistance made me stronger, made me push harder, made me the fighter that I am today. It made me the woman that I am today. So thank you.
Madonna
Kindness [Starting with yourself]
The author believes in the question that if you can’t be kind to yourself, can you be truly kind to others? Many times, we may find it easier to discount or suppress our own feelings and emotions and try to compensate to make others feel better. You can be the shiny beacon, who’s burning itself to give light to others. Please don’t do this disservice to yourself, you deserve better! We might not see the after-effects of some circumstances till later in life, but they may be subconsciously more damaging than when they appeared in the moment.
Self-care is quite important, you need not do something extravagant, it can be a cupcake in the evening, a mini spa session at the weekend, or doing anything that brings you happiness. There are people who are their own harshest critics, small incidences heightening their sense of guilt, sometimes we just need to take it easy on ourselves. Ask yourself, would you demand something out of others that you are subjecting yourself to? Excellent to have standards, but not to the point where we crucify ourselves on false theories. At the same time, remember kindness can never be overrated. In a world where you can be anything, be kind.
Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.
Marie curie
Self Love [And there’s me in the world]
This excerpt is not an advertisement to build an army of Narcisusses. It is simply to reinforce that you are important, you matter, and you are very much loved and valued. If you feel any of it is lacking, the starting point is ourselves. Better to have a day of happiness than a year of misery. Our lives are beyond us, but our actions are in our control. When you consciously try to affirm & value your beliefs despite all the nagging noises around, you’ll find an adorable persona staring at you in the mirror, satisfied by the affection, and ready to take on the world!
I don’t want other people to decide who I am.
Emma Watson
