You Don’t Have to Prove Anything to Anyone to Feel Fulfilled — Here’s The Truth
Many of the things we do throughout our lives seem tailored to prove to others that we’re also “capable”. Thus, our self-esteem ends up depending on the approval of others.
As if there were no other way.
But is this really the case? Do we really have to prove to our parents and loved ones that we’re worth what we demonstrate?
Because if that’s the case, it’s easy to see why our Western societies are rife with mental and physical issues.
The truth is, we don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Nothing.
It sounds hard to accept, but it’s the truth.
The problem is, our egos struggle to believe that they can truly be that version of themselves they so desperately seek without the approval of others.
The More You Seek, the Less You Find
Life has taught me that chasing something obsessively only brings back the opposite of what I was looking for.
The desperation to obtain what keeps us up at night is the major cause of it slipping through our fingers as soon as we catch it.
It’s like that legend of the dragon who sought a precious pearl. The dragon searched everywhere for it, always frustrated by finding nothing.
He believed he would never find it.
Until one day, he looked into the mirror and discovered that the pearl had always been on his forehead, adorning his majestic figure.
What you seek is not outside of you, but where we least expect it.
What we seek externally (read: approval from others) is where we least believe it to be. But I’m not saying this as some cliché to make us feel better.
Because believe me: what we’re really searching for isn’t out there, waiting to be discovered. What we seek is right here, right now, as you read these words and realize that we’re like that desperate dragon.
The approval we so desperately seek from others is within ourselves. Yes, you read that right: within ourselves! Let me explain.
They say as within so without.
In other words, if we don’t approve of ourselves, others won’t either. It doesn’t matter if we do all sorts of things to prove otherwise: approval must come from within ourselves first.
The Paradox of Approval
So, when others see that we approve of ourselves, they approve back. And here’s the best part: when others approve back, we tend to believe it’s because we’ve done something external to make it happen.
But that’s a lie.
Approval happens because it’s first happened within us. If it’s not, chances are, others are reflecting the lie we’re trying to tell ourselves, that we need their external approval to be happy.
I think this phrase that comes to mind perfectly reflects what I’ve tried to convey throughout this post: “Work on your inner self, and your outer self will reflect the fruits that were always within you.”
In fact, feeling fulfilled is the greatest confirmation that we don’t need the approval of others, even when we receive it. Because yes, it all starts from within.
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