YOU DON’T KNOW
Why people want and need the things they do
Reading about the proposed stimulus to the American people, I came across this comment on The Washington Post:
“and there are no restrictions on how to use the money.” Which is exactly why blindly sending CHECKS to everyone will be a COLOSSAL waste of public funds. There MUST be some smart expert up there who can come up with a form of tender that can only be used by the intended recipient for legitimate (ie legal) basic expenses, not sold / exchanged for cash to spend at the liquor store or handed over to your friendly corner drug dealer or to splurge on frivolous treats.”
I admit I saw red. Well, maybe not that bad, but still, it bothered me. Here’s my response:
“Seriously, what does it matter to you how people spend their money! You don’t know people’s pain and YOU don’t know what they need.
If I had the extra money, I WOULD go to a liquor store to buy a bottle whisky. As a child, my grandmother would give me a spoonful or two to help me get over a cold or sleep. But according to you, I would be doing a bad thing. I bought liquor! Oh, my!
If I was a cancer patient and wanted some pot, and I bought it from a dealer to ease my pain, according to you, I would be doing a bad thing. I bought a drug! Oh, my!
Frivolous treats? If my child wanted a bit of chocolate or ice cream, according to you that would be frivolous? I disagree! You don’t know what is frivolous for others, or why they might need that treat. You DON’T know! You don’t know what anxiety or pain it might ease.
According to you, I shouldn’t do what’s best for me because you are trying to be some sort of vanguard puritan. You don’t like something, so others should be prevented from spending on your dislikes?
This has been the American mentality. I don’t want anyone else to have what I don’t approve of.
Even if someone bought drugs, the drug dealer would spend the money back into the economy. It all comes back into the mix. So, please stop trying to dictate to others!
You don’t know why people want or need the things they want or need. YOU just don’t know!
(Thank you for listening to my rant. I’m sorry. Sigh.)”
___________
I remember some years back having a conversation with my mother about queer people. I was feeling the same frustration. Fortunately, we were at a restaurant, so she couldn’t complain too loudly. She strongly disliked gays and believed they should be outlawed.
“Why, Mom?”
“Because the Bible says they’re an abomination. There’s something wrong with those people.”
I was angry but tried to be calm. “There are plenty of people who don’t share your faith. You can believe what you want, but when you inflict it on others, you harm them. You may think there’s something wrong with gay people, but I doubt they see themselves that way. They are not beholden to your views, nor should they be. And they don’t tell you how to live.”
Mom shrugged. “Well, they hurt society.”
I leaned forward, still trying to be calm. But her attitude really pissed me off. “Name one gay person that has hurt you personally. Just one, Mom.”
She looked away from me. “Pavane, I can’t. But that’s not the issue.”
I sipped my drink then, gazing at her. “That is the issue. You hold a belief that harms them, while they have never harmed you. You would have them live by your dictates because you don’t approve of their lifestyle. But, how does it affect you if Joe and Bill in Montana are happy with each other? What do you care? You don’t live their lives. You don’t know what they need to live. You don’t know their pain or struggles. You don’t know, Mom!”
“There must be rules for proper society.”
“Yes. I agree. Criminal things like murder, rape, pedophilia and sex trafficking should be outlawed. These are crimes of harm. But what people choose for themselves which harm no one else is an entirely different matter. Be careful, Mom. It could be that one day that being Catholic is criminalized. You wouldn’t like that.”
Mom waved her hand. “That’ll never happen.”
“My point is, if it did, someone would be telling you how to live and what to believe according to their dictates. Would you like it? Would you agree that they were right?”
“Under those circumstances, no.”
I sighed. “Then why do it to others?”
________
Why do it to others? I see this everywhere. We all live with it. Reading that WaPo comment suggesting limitations on how people live or spend their relief money set me off again. Life is already so hard.
Why do people have to be so hard on others? What makes people so dictatorial, puritanical, smug, and bigoted? What makes THEM right? I don’t see them as right. And yet, they still have a need to tell other’s how to live? Why?
