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You don’t need to hit rock bottom before you stop chasing someone
Understand your underlying psychology & permit yourself to stop
Chasing someone means applying force to a situation that is already displaying resistance
I have written a lot about chasing behaviours before in previous articles. As a Psychologist who specialises in behavioural addictions (particularly gambling), I find the concept of ‘chasing’ a deeply fascinating but slightly disturbing behaviour that occurs in many contexts in life.
In a relationship context, chasing refers to the idea of one person trying to ‘get more’ out of another person or trying to force a relationship despite things not naturally going that way.
Chasing behaviours can refer to repeated texting, attempts to gain approval, trying to ‘lock in’ plans or whatever else that feels like a sense of forcing the relationship forward. Often with little reciprocation. Anybody who has ever chased anything or anyone tends to know inside of them how this feels- it isn’t great! A sense of shame and embarrassment can often be associated with chasing. These are feelings that naturally are further reinforced by the very act of chasing.
