You turned me into someone, and I allowed you
Collective acts to make those who have been a “puppet” for their significant other finally come to their senses.
Act 1 — “You belong to me”
As romantic as that statement may seem, it’s worth taking a moment to consider its implicit meaning. Not to sound cynical, but while feeling a sense of belonging can provide comfort, it can also present significant challenges. In a world where we confront various threats, hearing such a statement can indeed make us feel secure. However, what if the sense of security offered by our partner transforms into authoritarian control?
Act 2 — “You look better in short hair”
Well, obviously, short hair is just a symbol. Yet, have you encountered someone expressing such sentiments to you directly? It could momentarily evoke feelings of care and appreciation, indicating that the individual pays keen attention to even the smallest aspects of our appearance. But on the other hand, it might also lead us to believe that our current style, or just who we are now, isn’t adequate. It could shape one’s mindset that if they’re not what their partner wants them to be, then maybe they are not enough.
Act 3 — “You should exercise more”
Any thoughts on this one? Well, I’ve been on the receiving end of that statement before, even though I’m already skinny. Someone once told me to be more active and not to be this weak or soft type of girl (if that makes sense to you). While the intent to promote health is appreciated, there’s certainly room for a more tactful delivery devoid of sarcasm. That statement could make one start to hate their body shape and lower their self-esteem.
Act 4 — “No one could understand you more than I do”
Reflecting on this statement brings back memories of my past relationship, where my significant other claimed to possess a comprehensive understanding of me. As I delve deeper into this notion, I increasingly perceive it as a subtle attempt to exert control over me. It implies that no matter how troubled I may be, my partner believes he understands me better than anyone else. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with being understood, if this perception of understanding is skewed, it can gradually foster codependency within the relationship.
Act 5 (which may not be the last one I could think of) — “Well, in the end, you are always right”
Being labeled as ‘always right’ can often lead to perceptions of selfishness and control. I never truly understood the weight of that label until my partner started using it to describe me. It felt like I was the one who was ‘always right,’ and everything I did was blaming him. However, upon reflection, I realized that he was simply prioritizing his own desires without considering how they might affect me. This realization forced me to confront the possibility that I was the one demanding too much, always expecting him to conform to my wishes. In reality, he seemed unwilling to take responsibility for his actions, even when they crossed ethical boundaries.
Those are examples of manipulative words that can be found in a relationship, which have implicit meanings. One day, I overheard my neighbor arguing with her boyfriend, and I heard him mock her for being ugly, fat, and worthless. These words are explicit in their cruelty. However, it’s the implicit ones that pose a greater threat. Beware; don’t simply internalize such remarks without recognizing their power to reshape our identities and profoundly influence our mindset.
“Words have power, and all things of power are dangerous.”
― Ellery Adams, Poisoned Prose
