You Won’t Reach Your Goals By Contradicting Your Desires
A case against the Hustle Culture and why enjoying the process of going after your goals is a much better strategy
You have a dream.
You know what you have to do to make it come true, but you’re not doing it.
Maybe it’s because you’re overwhelmed, juggling a million things, and tired.
You can’t even begin to think about adding this or that to your already madness-packed day.
Or maybe you’re trying. Trying so hard that it hurts.
But frustration gets the best of you and you start to feel a dense, heavy energy around your dream and goals.
Am I doing the right thing chasing it?
Is “now” the right time?
Should I just let it go?
I feel you, I’ve been there.
And one thing I know for sure is that NOW is always the right time, and if the sole idea of that dream coming true makes you feel AMAZING — then yes, you’re doing the absolute right thing chasing it.
Here’s the thing, though:
It doesn’t have to feel overwhelming.
Chasing your dreams should feel empowering, energizing, and Fun AF. And if it doesn’t, you are doing something wrong.
What? You’re telling me that making our dreams come true doesn’t require sacrifice and hard work?
Making our dream come true doesn’t require sacrifice.
It does require hard work, though.
There’s a massive difference between “hard but needed” and sacrifice.
One is grounded in lack, need, franticness, and scarcity.
It fills your action with a bitter taste and drains your energies, which means that
a) it’s not sustainable in the long term, and
b) even if you do reach your goal, at that point you’ll be so in the habit of sacrificing what matters to you that postponing your happiness will have become your modus operandi.
After a goal, there will always be another goal.
The gratification that comes with achieving one is fleeting and lasts only until the next goal takes shape in your mind.
What will you do, then? Get back into sacrifice mode and start contradicting your desires AGAIN?
Not the best way to operate, and if you are familiar with the Law of Attraction you can easily see why.
When working to make your Vision come true, you want your actions to be grounded in the vibes of what you’re creating (not what you’re missing out on). You want to work from a place of trust and gratitude, you want to feel empowered, proud, and fulfilled while making your big Vision come to life.
That is the place you want to work from if you want to manifest your dream into reality and have an awesome time while at it. Because you’ll need to (to overcome all the challenges that come with growing).
Okay. How do I do that?
I’ve got four tips to help you get that powerful reframe and start enjoying chasing your dreams right now.
1/ Connect your dream to a strong purpose
Finding a “deeper why” will boost your motivation and allow you to build a strong case for you to get up from the couch and do the work when you don’t feel like it.
The purpose is a widely misunderstood concept.
It doesn’t have to be that God-given mission that gives your life meaning by serving others.
Sure, it can be for some people. But it can also be much simpler than that.
Maybe your Grand Purpose is something you’re not ready for, at this point in your life. Maybe it goes beyond the scope of your understanding, beliefs, or abilities.
So while you’re waiting for the realization of your Life Purpose to hit you, you can create your own purpose. Your own version of what you think will give meaning to your life and your actions.
It will change with time, as your perspective broadens and as you reach new levels of self-awareness. But for now, anything deep enough to give you goosebumps when you think of it will do the job.
Here’s a strategy to find a Purpose behind your dream:
- Define your dream in detail
→ I want to have a successful online business that allows me to make an abundant living while working only 4 hours per day - Ask yourself why you want that
→ To have more time to spend with my family and do what brings me joy - Ask yourself why you want that
→ To be a more fulfilled person and show up as the present and loving parent I want to be - Continue until you get to the core of it, and then finally tie it all up together asking again “Why do I want to [insert goal here]?”
→ Why do I want to build a successful online business that allows me to make a lot of money while working 4h/day?
→ To be a present mother for my kids.
You can do it for your freedom.
You can do it to leave a legacy.
You can do it to serve others.
Find your “deeper why”. It will boost your motivation and allow you to build a strong case for you to get up from the couch and do the work when you don’t feel like it.
2/ Be clear on your priorities & Make space for them
You can’t do it all, and you don’t have to.
Look at your to-do list and use your reason to discern between:
- What’s REALLY necessary (unavoidable = keep it)
- What can be delegated/postponed
- What doesn’t serve your vision and isn’t necessary
Clean up your schedule accordingly.
What if you still end up with a super long list of things you NEED to get done? If you’re a mom, it’ll probably be your case.
The answer is to prioritize.
Ask yourself:
- What must be done today, no matter what?
Pick one or two maximum. - What are the things that can be left untackled without the world falling apart?
Don’t bash yourself if you don’t get to do them.
And again, delegate. Ask for help.
If you think you can’t ask for help for any of the things on your plate, I urge you to reflect on where is your resistance coming from.
Is it that you cannot ask for help because there’s no one around you that will support you, or are you just not okay with asking for help? Why? What do you think will happen? Is that possibility worse than postponing working on your dream?
Rethink your take on asking for support, cause it’s a lifesaver.
With a clearer schedule, make time to honor your priorities every single day.
If your ultimate goal is to have more time for your family, start dedicating more time to your family right now, feel grateful about it, and build upon that energy.
3/ Use your Core Values as your North Star
Our subconscious mind works in miraculous ways and will create systems and routines for us to be more efficient in our day-to-day, which ultimately leads us to be able to do more with our time.
The only caveat to that? We must be consistent enough with a new action for it to become a habit before it can be systemized and integrated into our routines.
Here’s the problem, though: being consistent enough to form a new habit is hard if we don’t see the immediate value that’s in it for us.
Take me, for example. I’ve been struggling with taking the time to meditate daily for years. I knew it was important, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it.
Being consistent with anything becomes much easier once you:
- See the role that thing plays in making your Vision come true
- Connect it to your Core Values & Purpose
This will build a strong case for you to show up every day and make space for what you need to do, in order to have what you’re working to create.
Back to my meditation — it became easier for me to find the time for it when I realized how Spirituality was an integral part of my idea of Success and Happiness (with Success and Happiness being two of my Core Values).
Once I realized that to be happy I had to cultivate the ability to be grounded in the present moment, and that reaching my career goals involved listening to (and enhancing) my Intuition, I could see how important a daily meditation practice was.
It aligned with my Core Values and it ultimately played a huge role in fulfilling my Purpose of being a present mom for my kids (leading to both Happiness and Success). Bingo! Meditation is now a must-do for me.
4/ Respect your capacity
Every seemingly small action that you take — when done intentionally — brings you closer to your goal.
No human being is able to give 100% to a project every single day.
You are no exception.
Yet, we see people advocating for the hustle culture and promoting energy-draining approaches that simply lead to burnout and exhaustion.
Not my cup of tea, and if you know a thing or two about the Law of Attraction — or care at all about your well-being — you won’t subscribe to that narrative either.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the work. Cause it’d be delusional to think that things will just magically happen without us taking action, right?
[see the part about “hard but necessary” being different from sacrifice, above]
Respecting your capacity looks like being clear on how much you can give to your project every single day.
Based on how you feel and how many other things you’ve got on your plate that day, how much can you put into your project?
100%? Amazing! Let’s get to it.
5%? Great. Do that and no more.
No guilt. No blame. No bashing.
Give yourself what you need today. Tomorrow is another day and if you fill your energy cup you’ll have plenty to give.
Remember: every seemingly small action that you take — when done intentionally — brings you closer to your goal.
There is no need to hustle your way to the top.
There’s no need to feel bad while chasing your dreams.
Do things YOUR way and enjoy life WHILE you’re in the process of reaching your goals. I promise you’ll reach them faster and BETTER.
And the quality of your life will skyrocket.
