Your Insecurities Have A Reason!
Have you ever seen a person who’s constantly checking the calories before eating something or keeps on checking the phone after getting a picture clicked and finally deletes all the pictures by saying I hardly get any photo right or maybe someone who can’t tolerate their partners even normally talking to anybody else or someone who just cannot take a compliment and gets awkward while receiving a compliment?
I’m sure you must have people like that around you or you too might have any of these traits.
We usually term these traits as “insecurities”.
On the contrary, we do have people around us who are so confident about themselves, their looks, their worth, and their skills, that there’s no scope for doubt in their lives.
I am a mix of both. Certain things in my life are like a universal truth to me. For example, I know that I’m very good at studies, finances, communicating with anyone and many more but at the same time, I’m someone who feels so guilty about even eating a whole chocolate. I don’t remember the last time I had something sweet very guilt-freely.
There are people in my life who consider me so confident in whatever I do but some also advise me to break my rigidity and ease myself a little.
Why Does Someone Feel Insecure?
Psychology says, there’s not a single reason behind it. The root of insecurities could lie in past traumas, childhood comparisons, your loved ones’ perspectives toward you, or high expectations from you.
A person you see constantly worrying about their body weight or height might have been someone who’s just listened to weight loss tips from their relatives, family, or neighbors ever since they were in their senses.
Someone who’s camera shy or doesn’t like to get their pictures clicked might be someone who has had a lot of comparisons of their skin tone or their beauty with others.
A student who’s not good at studies or keeps cramming for exams yet does not get enough marks could be someone who’s always been told how dumb he is as a student or what will happen to him in the future.
People who are insecure in their relationships could be the ones who have been cheated on or had been played by their ex-partners in the past. Or maybe they were made to believe that they weren’t good enough for their partners.
There are many faces to insecurities but their roots are usually laid somewhere in their past.
See, How Insecure She Is!
Don’t we use this word to describe someone as a negative character? I’ve heard this term by many people for someone who’s jealous of others or someone who’s trying to hold on to their partners and restricting their conversations with others. Yes, such people are insecure but that’s not a statement to make for others instead a problem to look towards with empathy.
If you closely introspect your life, you’ll also find things you feel insecure about, and that too because someone else made you feel about yourself that way. So, it’s always better to remember a dialogue from Thumper in the movie Bambi,
If you can’t say something nice, do not say nothing at all.
What Can We Do To Overcome Our Insecurities?
We are social animals, right? What we do, and what we become, are directly or indirectly related to the society we are in.
There is plenty of advice available on the internet if we search but what worked the most for me is first, deep self-introspection and second, changing the society that led me to my condition.
When you sit with yourself and have a close look at your life, you learn about your strengths and weaknesses.
Since college, I was in my hometown and I had the same neighbors, relatives, friend circle, and people to interact with. That’s why my life has been the same throughout. But it completely changed the day, I moved to a new city for my job. I saw girls who were actually struggling with a lot of serious health issues like PCOD, and PCOS, and made me realize how lucky I was to have a maintained body weight that is not too little and not too much and can be altered as per my will and efforts and there I started feeling good and grateful about my body.
I realized I was very confident about my studies, work, and skills because I’ve always been told that I’m a very bright student by my teachers and parents. Their faith in me made me this confident girl. But at the same time, the things I was conscious about were fed into me by the society I was living in. The day I changed the people around me and broadened my horizons of perspectives, I lost all my insecurities.
It’s as simple as that, Every person has their own definition of beauty and their own perspective on things. As a child, we tend to fall into the trap of their viewpoints about us but as we grow up, we must explore the world and create our own way of looking at things which is not at all influenced by the people around us.
