5 First Date Fundamentals Tips Every Man Should Know
Makes Your First Date Super Perfect
I’m going to be talking about tips to have a great first date so regardless of what the outcome of the date might be you’re not going to leave the date thinking I could have done this better or I should have done this instead if you follow these five tips.
You will have a great first date so following these five tips are going to set you up for success and ensure that you have the best first date possible so with that being said let’s go ahead and jump into it so the number.
01. Dress Well:
So I’m not saying dress like someone you’re not or dress like what you think she would want you to look like because let’s say you have a second date and you bought an outfit for the first date and you don’t have any more clothes like that she’s going to catch on to the fact that maybe on the first date you dressed a little bit to impress her and that is not your actual a style so dress like yourself.
When I say dress well I don’t mean dressed like someone that you’re not but just dress like the best version of yourself so this is also going to depend on the type of scenario that you’re in for your date.
So if you’re going for brunch on the weekend and it’s very casual you’re going to win a dress and something like jeans and sneakers and a nice shirt just looking a little bit more casual to fit the setting that you’re gonna be in say you’re maybe meeting after work for a drink or dinner maybe you’re a little bit more business Casual something like that.
So I’m not going to get super specific into what to wear I think that’s very specific and a little bit too zoned in and really could in its own so if you guys would want to see that let me know in the comments below.
So just generally dress for the setting that you’re going to be in you don’t want to look like you tried too hard so definitely don’t come wearing a full-fledged suit unless for some reason you are famous and rich and fancy and going to a gala and taking her.
For the first date which I really wouldn’t recommend in the first place but just make sure you’re dressing for and like I said dress like the best version of yourself you should look like you spent a little time getting ready you don’t want to look like you rolled out of bed.
So like my friend showed up to the first date and he shows up and his V-neck is looking like a U-neck and he looks like he was out partying all night and maybe has the worst hangover of his life it’s going to be an initial turnoff and as much as I hate to say it a lot of girls are that way I’m not saying that looks are everything but Remember:
First impressions are very important so you’re gonna want to make a good one
Alright, guys next on my list is:
02. To Pick The Perfect Place
So this is going to differ depending on where you live what season it might be if you’re in California and it’s sunny in 75 and beautiful all year you’re probably going to have more options than someone like me that lives in Cleveland where it’s cold seven months of the year and there’s not really that much fun stuff to do in the wintertime so keep that in mind as well.
So you’re gonna want to pick somewhere where you’re going to be able to get to know them to an extent you don’t want to get to know them too much on the first date as silly as that might sound I don’t recommend bringing her to your place on the first date I think going somewhere public where you can be in a public setting but get to know each other a little bit more one-on-one is very important.
So like I said about bringing someone to your personal space on the first date this is just so that you don’t show all your cards on the first date you want to leave a little room for imagination a little room for the mystery you don’t want to show everything you have to offer on.
The first date that is something that maybe it will come after a few dates after you get to know the person you decide if you really like them or not for the first date you’re gonna want to pick somewhere public like I said where you can get to know each other a little bit better.
So another thing I want to point out is that I don’t think alike very fancy dinner date is a good first date because if you don’t even know if you like this girl or not why do you want to spend tons of money on her.
Also, a fancy dinner date is not a great first date because you kind of lock yourself into this very nice long-drawn-out formal meal say you get like 20 minutes into this date and you know that you do not like this girl you are stuck there in a four-course meal with a girl that you don’t like and you’re gonna have to pay for her.
So keep that in mind that’s why I would never recommend a super nice place for a first date go somewhere casual go somewhere fun you really want to get to know the person a little bit more here don’t show your cards don’t show that you have tons of money cuz you’re gonna attract the wrong type of girl.
That way so you’re gonna want to be able to have a conversational element on your first date you’re not gonna go somewhere where the talking is limited like maybe a movie, a movie is seriously the worst place to take someone for a first date if you’ve never met them before.
So if you’re friends and you’ve been friends for a while and maybe you’re just starting to have a romantic interest in them and you take them on a date to a movie that’s not the end of the world.
But if you meet a girl online and take her to the movies for the very first time you meet her you’re both going to be sitting there in the dark very awkwardly sharing a thing of popcorn and it’s just going to be so awkward and so uncomfortable and even worse you’re not going to be able to get to know them at all because you’re gonna be sitting in silence in a movie for two hours so like:
I said somewhere public somewhere fun where you can get to know them a little bit is always very important.
So this leads me to my next point which is:
I would argue that conversation is the most important part of a first date on your first date
You should get to know a little bit more about:
who this girl is ?
what she’s into you?
Should definitely be curious and ask her questions but she should be doing the same for you.
So if she is not giving you anything in return and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all then maybe that should be assigned to you that maybe she just isn’t into you and that’s totally fine not every girl you go on a date with is going to be into you and vice versa and that’s totally okay.
So say you met this girl online and you’ve crept on her Instagram and you know things about her that maybe you shouldn’t at this point but girls do that don’t ask her questions that you think she’s gonna want to answer or that is going to make her like you more.
You’re gonna want to be candid in this you’re not gonna want to pre-prepare your questions or seem like a robot you’re going to want to go with the flow ask her about different things notice the things that she’s into and the things that she lights up when she talks about and stick to those things and maybe see if you can bounce off of those and flow with the conversation and see.
If the things that she lights up about are things that you guys both have in common and a very important point about the whole conversation element is don’t sit there and talk about yourself the entire time
I personally have been seen on first dates where all the guys do is talk about themselves and doesn’t ask me anything it’s really awkward and just very unenjoyable for the other party if the person that you’re with is sitting there talking about themselves the whole time and not asking you anything in return.
So I’m sure that is just as frustrating for a guy if you’re the one that’s asking all the questions and she’s not giving you anything in return it’s just not really great and it’s kind of a turn-off so don’t be that guy that sits there and talks about himself the entire date show curiosity and her.
If you’re interested if you’re not well then you know you don’t want to take her on a second date.
At the end of your conversation on your first date, you should really evaluate:
Do I want to get to know this girl more?
Do I think we’re compatible at all is it even worth me?
Going on a second date with her .
So these are all going to be things that you’re gonna want to think about after that first date which is why it’s so important to have a nice conversation and to be in a place where you’re able to do that.
So my next point number four is:
04. Stop or Continue?
Knowing when to stop the date or knowing when to continue so is another reason why it’s so important to pick a place that is public that has a definite end.
For example, maybe you take her out to brunch and the end of that part of the date is when the bill is paid and you guys are done eating maybe you’ve sat there and talked for a little bit at that point you need to decide do I want to continue my date with this girl or am I not really feeling it and we should just end there.
So maybe you’re feeling like you’re ready to go maybe you’re getting vibes from her that she’s ready to go maybe you’re not feeling it at that point I would just call it quits obviously be polite say that you had a nice time and say your goodbyes.
But if you feel like you’re both having a really great time and there is still more fun to be had then be spontaneous and ask her to join you on something that maybe you were planning on doing next or later in the day.
For example, I and Roma had brunch on our first date and we just clicked so instantly and naturally, and really neither one of us, she thinks we’re ready to end our date at just brunch so I invited me to go shopping with me so she had to run a few errands and so we tagged along and we went to this like outdoor shopping place and just walked around and talked and went in different stores.
I actually got to know her a lot more like being out walking around in a public setting rather than just sitting down at a restaurant like facing them faced face so knowing when to stop or when to continue your date is very important it could lead you to a full day with someone that you end up being with for two years you never know.
But I will just be honest it was very attractive to her when we were done eating and I invited me to do something else you know it showed her that I could think on his feet that I was interested in her and that I was spontaneous and fun so keep that in mind too.
Another thing I will say is to pay the bill on the first date girl personally like when the guy pays she think it’s attractive on the first date at least.
Sometimes I and Roma now split things we take turns paying which is totally fine but on the first date take initiative and pay the bill it’s really awkward sometimes when you’re thinking about when the bills gonna come and they’re gonna put it on the table and you don’t know who’s gonna reach for it first so just take the initiative and grab for it the girl’s going to like that I promise.
So if you guys end up parting ways after this first part you know that you don’t want to see her again don’t tell her that you want to see her again you don’t need to lie obviously you don’t need to be mean and tell her that she was the worst person ever and to have a horrible day but you know to be polite. And don’t tell her that you want to see her again.
If you don’t so that leads me to number 5 on my list is be:
05. Clear About The Next Steps
So like I said be honest if you don’t want to see her again maybe she’s really into you and you are just not feeling her at all don’t get her hopes up and her thinking that she’s gonna see you again.
There’s someone that is just a one-night stand type of guy and you’re hanging out with just a one-night stand type of girl this probably does not apply to you but if you’re someone that’s looking for something serious and you know that the girl is too and you’ve made that clear from the beginning.
I think it’s very important to just be very clear and very honest about expectations and how you’re feeling so when your date comes to an end you don’t have to tell her right away like when can I see you again you honestly don’t want to seem too eager or too available.
So give it some thought think about maybe where you’d want to take her next you don’t need to jump on something so quickly don’t tell her what you think she wants to hear you’re not sure if you want to see her again don’t say anything yet just go home think about it sleep on it and see where you end up.
Another important here is to not make yourself seem so available I think a lot of times it’s a turn-off for girls if you’re super available and ready to see them 24/7.
While this might seem great at the beginning there comes a point when this ends and you’re not always going to be available to spend 24/7 with her so you don’t want to set unrealistic expectations in the very beginning but if you do want to see her again tell her.
At the end of my date with Roma that we spent 12 hours together, it was pretty obvious that we were both kinds of feeling it and liking each other so at the end of our date he said I would love to see you again and it was just a great way to end the day and made me feel better knowing that we were both kinds of on the same page.
Bonus: After The Date Text
So now I’m gonna talk about something that everyone dreads which is the after-date text so as a guy this is something that we all talked to our friends about should I text her and tell her that I had a good time should I wait for her to text me.
It’s like this big ordeal that doesn’t need to be a big ordeal at all really honestly so silly when you say it out loud but if you’re a guy and you had a great time with this girl text her when you get home and tell her that you had a great time it was great meeting her or something along those lines.
Like I said you don’t need to rush and make a next plan to see her again yet but just let her know that you had a good time so she isn’t sitting there freaking out with her friends wondering if she should wait for you to text her or what her next move should be also it’s just really attractive when a guy is confident and bold and lets you know that he had a good time and he liked spending the day with you if you’re able to text a girl.
After the date and tell her that you had a great time it just comes across that you’re confident and girls are going to like that
I know this is contrary to popular belief maybe some girls are into this whole game thing where you act uninterested in her but if you are trying to attract a nice girl that you’re gonna want to take them to your mom that maybe you’re gonna want to have a relationship with text her and tell her that you had a good time if she responds with similar energy to your text you can tell that she feels the same way and she had a really great time too now I think it’s okay to maybe ask her out again.
So like I said you don’t want to see him super available like you could hang out with her 24/7 I think this really does just set unrealistic expectations later down the road so maybe say something like
Hey had a great time with you today I don’t know what the rest of your week looks like but I would see you again or I would love to take you out again something like that so you’re gonna want to take it slow but definitely show your interest and that’s how you’re going to land a second date with her and see where it goes.
All right guys that conclude my list of five tips to have a great first date I hope that you all found this helpful.