5 Unexpected Habits of Remarkably Happy People (No Smiling Required!)
The Quest for Lasting Happiness
“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” — Aristotle
What is happiness? It’s the ultimate quest we all seem to be on, isn’t it? We want to feel light, at peace, satisfied, and meaningfully engaged. We desire to wake up each morning with a smile, go through our day fueled by positive emotions, and lay our heads down at night feeling content and fulfilled.
But with all the misguided advice out there, happiness can feel frustratingly elusive. Society often depicts it as contingent upon circumstances: having a perfect Instagram lifestyle, loads of money, six pack abs, a gorgeous significant other on your arm. Many implicitly suggest happiness should be as easy as slapping on a smile or practicing the power of positive thinking.
But at age 19, as a university student searching for purpose and meaning in life, I’ve come to believe real, lasting happiness runs much deeper than those superficial visions.
True joy and satisfaction can’t be packaged into a formula or achieved through appearances alone. It emerges as we tune into our authentic selves and cultivate the thoughts and behaviors that foster peace, vitality and connection.
After years of trial and error, I’ve found 5 unexpected habits shared by people living with remarkable, enduring happiness. They might surprise you at first, but upon reflection, their wisdom shines through.
The First Habit: Expressing Gratitude
I used to take so many things for granted — my health, my education and opportunities, my family. I’d focus on what I lacked rather than the abundance surrounding me. It wasn’t until I started listing 3 things I’m grateful for every morning that I began to see my life from a fresh perspective.
Gratitude shifts your mindset from deficiency and angst to wholeness and grace. By noticing the little gifts in our lives, suddenly our suffering lightens. Contentment has room to grow. Our interconnection with all beings becomes clearer. I cannot recommend cultivating gratitude enough; it’s the gateway to happiness.
Some days getting started feels hard. But I promise, if you take just 60 seconds right now to write down a few things you appreciate, no matter how small, it will lift your spirits. Got them? I’m willing to bet you feel a tad lighter.
The Second Habit: Spending Time in Nature
It’s all too easy to get trapped spending most of our time sealed inside boxes — our cars, classrooms, office cubicles. Our minds become echo chambers of stagnant thoughts bouncing off the walls. Our eyes fixate on artificial light emanating from rectangles as we itch for greater stimulation.
But humans inherently crave immersion in the natural world; it’s a biological necessity. We are microcosms of nature herself. And just as we nourish our bodies with wholesome food, we must also periodically nourish our spirits with fresh air, sunlight, vegetation, wildlife, and grand vistas.
Studies show even small doses of nature radically reduce anxiety and depression while improving focus, vitality, and overall wellbeing. The indigenous peoples have known medicine walks’ power for millennia. Our modern sickness is that we’ve lost touch with our home.
I dare you to put down your phone, step outside, and take a short walk with all your senses fully attuned. Notice your breath and the breeze’s caress. Absorb the smear of colors in the sky and trees. Feel your feet firmly planted as you stride. Hear birds’ melodies envelop you.
Immerse yourself in nature daily and I guarantee you’ll feel more joyful, resilient, and vibrant. We don’t realize how parched we are until we drink in nature’s nectar. Quench your soul, my friend; happiness awaits!
The Third Habit: Investing in Relationships
Legend has it that on his deathbed, the comedian George Burns was asked what he wished he could do more of in life.
“I wish I could have loved more,” he professed.
As the archetypal introverted writer type, I used to isolate myself for long stretches hyper-focused on projects and productivity. But after studying existential philosophy and observing aging role models’ regrets, I’ve come to believe Mr. Burns was absolutely right:
consistently investing in relationships is essential for happiness.
Why? For starters, our strong social connections literally help us live longer. Multiple studies reveal individuals embedded in close community face lower mortality across the lifespan. Furthermore, psychologists report loneliness secretes toxins that create disease in the body. We yearn for belonging on a primal, biological level as extremely social creatures.
But relationships don’t just help us survive; they help us thrive by meeting core needs such as affection, support during hard times, purpose, play, and intimacy. Our people powerfully shape our identities, values, and visions for ourselves. And research shows contributing to others often gives more joy than consuming goods ourselves. Ultimately we need loving community to fully become who we’re meant to be.
So make nurturing your relationships a top priority. Set aside dedicated friend time in your calendar as you would an important meeting. Send that text to an old pal you’ve been missing. Have an intentional conversation with your classmate or roommate. Reach out and ask someone about their dreams. Social health intertwines deeply with happiness.
The Fourth Habit: Lifelong Learning
A common pattern shows up when studying especially happy people: the most fulfilled individuals view life itself as an ongoing education. They exemplify perpetual students willing to grow, expand, evolve, and develop new skills perpetually. Rather than arriving at some finite point of accomplishment, they embrace the journey of continuous self-actualization.
As a student myself, this rings true in my bones. Nothing energizes me more than learning, discovery, and pushing perceived edges of possibility. Concert pianists must practice new pieces yearly lest their talents atrophy. I believe we must all actively exercise our minds as spiritual practice too, lest our lives grow stagnant. Lucky for us, in this age of limitless information, engaging our curiosity daily couldn’t be easier.
What hidden interests have you wondered about investigating? Perhaps snippets on quantum theory, gardening techniques, personal finance, woodworking, ancestor research, or the history of Lesser Antilles pirates call you. With an abundance mindset about learning, you needn’t become an expert in any specific discipline. Instead follow intuition toward subjects eliciting fascination. Over time you’ll cultivate an ever-expanding inner library with limitless resources to pull from when facing life’s adventures and adversity. Knowledge truly does equal power and choice.
Make a commitment to consider life a school and the planet your classroom. Assume the role of eternal pupil. Your happiness trajectory will bless you with riches no money could ever buy.
The Fifth Habit: Contributing to Others
Long has a myth persisted that we must have our own lives perfectly in order before we can worry about anyone else:
“Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”
But my how the paradoxes abound! After thoroughly researching happiness during my first years of college, I discovered a counterintuitive truth: contributing to others constitutes one of the most potent paths toward finding meaning and joy ourselves.
Pause and reflect on times you acted purely for another’s benefit — performed volunteer work, helped a stranger carry groceries, offered sincere encouragement to a friend during hardship. Remember the warmth emanating from your heart afterward? The bounce in your step from uplifting someone else?
Experiments validate this phenomenon too. Individuals assigned to commit five acts of kindness per week over a month not only made large positive impacts on others, but also reported feeling significantly happier and more satisfied themselves. Even small good deeds pack an exponential punch by reminding us of our profound interconnectedness.
You needn’t become Mother Teresa reincarnate though. Start small by smiling warmly at cashiers, holding doors open for passersby, taking mini-surveys to brighten acquaintances’ days with praise. Momentum builds, creating a positive feedback loop. Before you know it you’ll be transformed into an uplifting flame, brightening the collective aura. As the saying goes, a candle loses nothing by lighting another.
You can read my other article where I vividly discuss how to grow a like-minded community around you
The Takeaway
So there you have it, the five unexpected habits I’ve observed from those living with remarkable happiness:
1. Expressing gratitude
2. Spending time in nature
3. Investing in relationships
4. Continual learning
5. Contributing to others
By focusing first on conditioning our minds, then naturally allowing inspired action to flow forth, we create fertile soil for joy to bloom perennially. While seemingly simple practices, their effects prove profound.
Remember lasting happiness cannot be faked externally or achieved through happenstance alone. True bliss and fulfillment emerge from within. By courageously looking inside, embracing our humanity, and finding faithful rhythms attuned to both spirit and science, remarkable lives come into view.
I hope reflecting on the lessons and experiments from my journey so far inspires your own quest toward deeper meaning and stable inner peace. We each have a unique brand of happiness to uncover and embody. But the world needs your beautiful light, now more than ever. So let your unveiling begin!
Here are some of my other stories, feel free to check them out :
