A Man and His Reflection
At the innermost core of all, loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self. -Brendan Francis
Joel strolls down his usual path. It’s his favourite way to reflect. He likes to walk alongside the water. It gives him a moment of calm, helping him to appreciate the small things. Gentle rock music plays in his ears as he walks. He looks across to see an array of street lights, then looks ahead. As he continues, his eyes squint at a strange phenomenon. There seems to be more lights than there were last week.
Joel stops in his tracks and looks, focusing his gaze ahead. It doesn’t seem like he’s seeing things. Maybe there’s a reason behind it.
“That’s odd,” he mutters to himself, before walking again. Joel walks at his usual pace, looking ahead, but sees that the lights have increased again, this time much closer than before. As if they multiplied on the spot. Joel walks closer to one of them and touches it. He feels how cold the steel base is. Then taps it with his knuckles. It’s definitely real. He taps the one that’s next to it. It makes a similar pinging sound.
Joel shakes his head. “I’m being silly,” he says to himself, before continuing to walk.
He raises the music playing in his ears and walks past a man sitting on a bench. Joel glances at the man sitting, who doesn’t look up but continues scrolling on his phone while munching on a packet of ready-salted crisps. Near his feet is a brown paper cup of coffee. Before Joel continues on his stroll, he pauses and looks at the man. He looks exactly like him.
Same dark brown hair colour, pale skin and shaggy beard. Even the clothing is identical. He looks around to see if anyone else is near but can’t see anyone else. He continues staring at the man, who notices him and smiles.
“Hi Joel,” startled, Joel steps back, while his double continues to smile at him.
Joel tilts his head in disbelief. “Are we twins?”
“Ha, nope,” he replies.
“I don’t understand. What are you?” Joel asks.
“Well,” stretching his beard exactly as Joel does, he pauses before answering. “I guess I’m you, mate. Name’s Jack, by the way.”
“Jack? You have a different name?” Joel steps closer and inspects Jack’s face..
“Yup, you ok there mate?” Jack chuckles after he speaks.
Joel slowly backs away as he stares into his reflection. Jack continues to scroll on his phone while rummaging through the packet and crunching on another assortment of crisps. Joel continues to stare quietly, and his Jack stops scrolling. He looks up and motions to the space on the bench.
“You can sit, you know.” he playfully taps on the space next to him.
“I don’t understand,” Joel says.
“No worries, I’ll explain it.” Jack wipes the crumbs off his fingers, then patiently waits for Joel to sit down. Joel eventually moves towards him and slowly sits while still in disbelief.
“Well Joel, to put it as simply as I can, you stepped through a portal.” Jack looks at Joel with an amused look on his face.
Joel looks at Jack, saying nothing. Then looks around quietly before breaking out in laughter.
“You’re joking,” Joel laughs harder, wiping the tears from his eyes. Jack quietly smiles at him and waits for him to stop.
“I’m not.” He replies with a cheeky smile.
Joel stops laughing and realises the man that looks like him is telling the truth. He sits back and slowly pokes his arm. Jack looks at Joel’s hand in confusion.
“What are you doing?” He chuckles.
“This is real,” Joel speaks with a slight tremble.
“Yup, it is. So, do you have questions?” Jack sits back and crosses his arms.
“You said a portal?” Joel asks.
“Yup, every year a version of you pops through a portal and meets a version of me.” He picks up his coffee, taking a quiet sip.
“You should check the calendar on your phone,” Jack points at Joel’s phone before taking another sip of coffee.
Joel does; the year is 2065, and he quickly puts his phone face down on his leg.
“Impossible,” Joel scoffs.
“Very much possible, mate.” Jack replies.
“I don’t understand it. Why here and why you? I mean me.” Joel stares at himself.
“I don’t get it myself, but usually, anytime someone meets me, it’s because their life is pretty crappy and there’s something they need to change.” He looks at Joel and raises his eyebrows.
“I don’t know what you’re on about.” Joel looks stubbornly ahead.
Jack quietly scratches his beard and looks down. “You isolate yourself.”
“No, I don’t.” Joel crosses his arms and a slight discomfort builds on his face.
“You do, and it’s making you lonely.” Jack casually picks up his packet of crisps and continues to munch away.
Joel’s face turns red. He leans forward and glares at Jack.
“Listen, whatever this is, I don’t appreciate it. You have no right to judge me or how I live my life.” Joel sits back and angrily crosses his arms.
Jack looks ahead and doesn’t speak for a while. He glances at Joel and notices his strong closed off posture. Joel briefly meets eyes with him and then quickly looks away. Although it’s not a long look, Jack notices a tinge of sadness in Joel’s eyes.
“Are you happy, Joel?” Jack and Joel look at each other. Jack doesn’t break eye contact, but Joel immediately does.
“Let’s not do this.” Joel looks down and doesn’t speak further.
“You’re lonely, aren’t you?” Jack looks at Joel and doesn’t turn away.
“Stop it.” Joel shifts his weight on the bench.
“You don’t have to be.” Joel continues to look down, but eventually his eyes meet with Jacks.
Joel feels a wave of emotion and tries to suppress it. He remembers old friendships that slowly died. All the past game nights and meals out with friends.
He remembers it all: the laughter, the arguments, the divorce. How that moment changed everything, how it changed him. A small tear creeps out of Joel’s left eye. He quickly wipes it away. Jack notices.
“It’s hard,” Joel’s voice trembles a little.
“It is,” Jack replies quietly and looks ahead. His face seems to hide some pain of his own.
“Can it change?” Joel asks with genuine vulnerability.
“It can.” Jack puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a small butterfly pin. Then places it in Joel’s hand. Joel recognises it from his ex-wife and briefly sees her face.
“You can’t change what happened then, but you can change what happens now.”
Just as Jack finishes saying it, he disappears. Joel is sitting surprised and suddenly alone. He looks at his hand to realise the butterfly pin is gone. Joel quietly sits back and reflects on all that happened.
He takes his phone out of his pocket and slowly scrolls through his memories. Beginning to remember the person he used to be, eventually stopping at an old group photo with friends. Joel sees the variety of characters he used to spend time with. He hears laughter and gradually smiles.
