Adam and Eve on Vacation
You won’t find this story in the Bible.
“Eve, are you ready yet?” Adam was anxiously looking at the sun clock in their garden.
“I’m almost done,” she shouted from behind the bushes.
“What’s taking so long? You only wear leaves!”
“I’m putting on my swim leaves… How do I look?” she came out.
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” Adam was not lying — she was the only woman in the world at the time.
“Babe, where are we going? Eden?”
“No, babe. You got us kicked out, remember?”
Adam and Eve started packing. “A stick to scare off serpents… and I think that’s it.”
“What about birth control?” asked Eve.
“Don’t be silly. We don’t have birth control. God wants us to populate the Earth.”
“Adam…” Eve had a sudden realization. “If we’re the only people on Earth, wouldn’t our children have to marry each other?”
“I’d rather not think about that, Eve… Let’s go.”
“Wait.”
“What now?!” Adam was getting impatient.
Eve was always curious and that had gotten them into trouble before. Ever since they were banned from the garden of Eden, their relationship had been rocky. But they stayed together… because there was no one else.
“Maybe we should take this apple for the road. In case we get hungry,” Eve handed him a large blood-red apple.
“No!” Adam shouted. “I’ve had enough of you and your apples! God, I swear if there were other women, I’d leave you.”
“Well, why don’t you pop another rib out and make yourself a new girlfriend because I’m sick of being subordinate to you?!”
“You know that’s not my fault, Eve. Do you think I like dominating you and having you satisfy my every wish? It’s torture for me too. But God had to punish you for listening to reptiles… Now let’s not fight anymore.”
“But Adam, I did it for us… to get knowledge and wisdom.”
“I don’t think you got enough,” said Adam behind his shoulder.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, honey… nothing.”
Adam and Eve took off for their romantic get-away sponsored by God to help populate the world.
