Allen Vs. Epstein

Who’s the more egregious pedophile?

Tuyen Yo — Unsplash

I have to admit that when I first heard Mia Farrow accuse Woody Allen of sexually abusing their adopted daughter Dylan, I got the feeling Farrow was acting out because Woody had fallen in love with another of Mia’s adopted daughters, Soon-Yi. Still, accusing Woody of sexually abusing the prepubescent Dylan seemed like a bit of a stretch even if he's carrying on an affair with Soon-Yi struck me as supremely inappropriate.

But the recently aired HBO special on the subject of Allen’s and Farrow’s relationship — and the family dynamic — sheds some damning light on Woody Allen.

People often excuse inappropriate romantic acts of disloyalty as part of the human condition. I don't buy it. The idea that Allen just had to have sex with an underage teenager who he’d watched grow up is absurd. It’s inexcusable on a couple of levels.

Dude! She’s underage. Keep your hands off! And…she’s the adopted daughter of your long-time romantic partner. What kind of sick fuck are you?

Sorry! That’s how I feel. I know an army of fans think Woody is a brilliant and creative genius. And yes, I laughed at some of the stunts in his movies. Still, I always felt there was something weird and neurotic about him. And now I know I was right.

All those movies about relationships between middle-aged men and teenage girls? Plus, he actually did conduct an affair with an underage girl (besides Soon-yi) if you believe the girl’s testimony. (Which I do.)

Doing the math, we have Woody Allen directing movies about middle-aged men with underage romantic partners — and at least two instances of him turning that fantasy into reality. And we have damning video testimony from witnesses and his adopted daughter that he diddled her when she was prepubescent.

Compare him to Jeffrey Epstein, my old inmate acquaintance at MCC federal prison. Epstein is as infamous a pedophile as they come. But here’s the thing: Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t really a pedophile. A pedophile is defined is an adult who’s sexually attracted to prepubescent children. Jeffrey’s prey was all postpubescent as far as I know.

Assuming all that we’ve heard is true, who’s the bigger creep? Allen or Epstein? I vote for Woody by a fair margin.

What did Jeffrey really do? He paid young teenagers to give him a massage. He offered them more money if they went further — and he tendered finders’ fees if they brought their friends. Creepy? No doubt. But nobody went in there unaware of the program.

Now to Woody! It would appear he sexually abused a prepubescent girl — one who was his adopted daughter! He carried on love affairs with at least one (and almost surely two) teenagers who were underage!

Answer me this: Why is Woody Allen not in prison? Jeffrey’s plight was so hopeless that he killed himself in the knowledge that he was never going to get out of prison. Yet Woody’s actions strike me as way more reprehensible than Jeffrey’s!

I watch this documentary in horror at how Woody acted. Jeffrey? Hours alone with him made me draw the conclusion that he was just a schmuck with a perpetual hard-on.

Do I think Allen should be imprisoned at age 85? Not really. What’s done is done. Still, given the evidence in the cases of Epstein and Allen, Woody should have done much more time than Jeffrey for his crimes. Just my two cents on this sorry state of affairs.

My experiences with Jeffrey Epstein:

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