Angry? Sad? Worried? Here’s why.
The oldest debate in biology→ Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Likewise, in psychology, we have a similar debate → Which came first, the thoughts or the feelings?
The debate exists because thoughts and feelings come so close together — almost undifferentiable.
But when we go microscopic and begin getting scientific about it, we discover that thoughts come first, not feelings.
Your feelings arise due to the thoughts that precede them.
Thoughts and feelings ALWAYS match each other. There is no such thing as a mismatch and this is a major premise in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT).
You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this and you will find strength.
- Marcus Aurelius
Angry? You have angry thoughts that precede them. Worried? You have sad thoughts that precede them.
Think a negative thought → you get a negative feeling.
This is a 100% accurate.
The solution?
Let the thoughts go. Become an observer of thought rather than an absorbent of it.
How?
Accept the situation. Do something else to detach yourself from the circumstance — for the time being.
Read a book, read a road sign, do math in your head, sing a song — think whatever that mismatches the feeling you are experiencing.
The common misconception is that the external is responsible for your internal state — the feelings. This needs to be corrected.
It is ALWAYS the internal dialogue that you tell yourself regarding a situation, the story that you conjure up inside your head that is responsible for all your feelings. Not external events.
Everything in this world has a polar opposite — this is a universal law. If an event has a negative connotation, it would most certainly have a positive one.
Don’t just automatically flow with the train of thought.
Instead, change the story that you tell yourself into something that is on the positive side of polarity.
What I mean is, find a positive meaning to your situation, and change your internal state.
Breakup? Life lessons that help you build a better one.
Fearful? “Trigger point” insights that help you to understand yourself.
Broke? An opportunity to create profitable ideas.
See?
You get the picture.
It is always the internal state that influences your external behavior and not the other way around.
Feelings are amazingly simple to bypass.
Be empowered — because you are in control here.
Hi! My name is Steve, and I love to understand topics related to Philosophy, Psychology, the Human body and other nerdy stuff.
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