Do These 3 Effective Techniques For Better Communication
“You’ve not been listening to me at all”
“Why doesn’t he seem to understand me”
“If only he listened he wouldn’t have….”
“You’re so robotic, where’s your empathy gone”
1. Seek First To Understand Then Be Understood
If you’ve ever faced these phrases thrown around at you by someone, know that you my friend have a serious issue with regard to understanding other people.
We often think that to make a point we need to be as hard-headed, brute, and strong as possible, we need to overcome the opponent or we need to prove the person wrong.
While it is absolutely normal for arguments to occur, what isn’t normal is the way we react to arguments, which causes the people we converse with to develop a feeling of being overcome.
Maybe you're taking things a bit more personally than you should be.
Imagine a person going through some sort of hardship or period of distress, the person vents it out all at you, and you don’t have the emotional capacity to empathize with the person, and you end up making the person delve into a far worse situation than he/she already is.
So the way you deal with others in conversations really does have an impact on how strong and rich your conversations are, and how your conduct in conversing really is.
The key thing here is really having the innate feeling and wanting to understand the person that you are speaking to, and by understanding, I mean putting the person where he/she deserves to be in terms of their social outlook.
Instead of speaking to people while believing you always have the upper hand. Think of yourself as an honest counsellor, lowering the guard and actively listening to the patient with care and concern.
This is where most people fall short of, we begin talking about our own circumstances and problems, without even giving a chance to the person speaking.
Although this can happen to both sides of the party, the wise individual would compromise a bit of his time to hear things out and show empathy. Perhaps the person could clarify his matter at a later stage.
The one listening would feel truly respected; given the fact that you are actively listening instead of acting things out and trying to show that you have an iota of care and concern about the person speaking to you.
2. Synergize For The Win!
If that’s the first time you’ve heard the phrase, you likely think- “That’s that chapter we learned for chemistry in pre-high school innit”.
I wish you were close enough, to be honest.
So we often tend to argue on matters which usually benefit us, cause arguments that don’t really benefit you but benefit others, are likely to be moral arguments with high value.
But when we think of arguments we usually think:
1. individuals yapping and arguing about material goods
2. individuals focused on gaining a sense of position or advantage
3. individuals just greedy about things going on for their own selves
When we deal with such scenarios of arguments, we talk about synergizing. The goal for a successful argument in terms of the above cases is really to avoid bolstering the conflict; which could have fatal issues and damage both parties consequently.
So when we synergize we are talking about one person giving up a small aspect of his argument while giving the one conversing a chance to collaborate with him, this way they can combine both of their goals and objectives and come to a solution that meets both interests; at least temporarily.
While most of these temporary solutions eventually end up back in the circle of argument, this proves beneficial at least for a set period of time, so both parties or people can sort of reconcile affairs between them.
This is different from a person giving his right up, which is by far, the best option if one person gives up his entire right to avoid arguments and disputes.
For example, 2 brothers own a single car and drive a single car, they want to travel to different destinations while both destinations are further away from each other by 10 mins however on the same track of the journey. The consequence would be one of them being delayed by 10 minutes and the other person has to carry the burden of driving the person and dropping him.
So you see, both of them are contributing in some way or the other, to fulfil a particular objective, while going through circumstances almost equivalently facing similar issues.
This way they synergize and reach a solution that they both would be satisfied with, instead of one person ignoring the other or a long futile dispute occurring between them which causes them to grow further away from reaching an objective or a solution.
3. Fostering Connections Through Effective Communication
“Create a dialogue, not a monologue!”
Whether it be the virtual world or the real world, communications matter.
You're talking about corporate life, social life, or personal life — most of us are human beings and we are by nature social, I’m not talking about social media here or the introverted and the extroverted, I’m merely saying a human that needs another human being in one-way shape or the other.
So always prioritize effective communication, here’s a simple rule:
The more you communicate, the better your connections with others
If you want strong connections with others, you need to step up the game and start strengthening your conversations
If you're a person who prefers emails over instant messaging, to a considerable extent that is fine; especially for a professional setting.
But I'm sure we can agree, there’s absolutely nothing like face-to-face conversations. When we speak to others in reality, we build a sense of trust when we see them. This is one of the huge pros of being socially active.
These are 3 effective ways for better communication, for more beneficial tips, make sure you subscribe to my medium account and comment below if you enjoyed it! :)
