Fortune Favours The Bold
It’s okay to be selfish and prioritize your mental health
Let me take you back to the time when I was in high school. I remember going to the coaching classes in the evening for a better understanding of every subject. It was a hard time for everyone my age.
On a normal cold evening at almost the end of the year, a new girl came to our class in the mid-session. She entered the class, looked for a seat and sat down. The professor continued his lecture and didn’t bother. I don’t blame him though because the number of children was too much to care about.
The new girl stayed to herself all the time. I could always see this lost look on her face. It was weird because I could relate to her being reserved and not talking to anyone except when needed but there was more to it. I like reading human behaviours and I was intrigued by her. The expression on her face made me wonder what was on her mind.
One day, we happened to sit together. I saw her doodling concentric circles and asked if it was the symbol of Scott’s pack (from the show ‘Teen Wolf’). The moment I asked that, I felt utterly embarrassed and said never mind. I was surprised when she said she knew what I was talking about. It was the first time I heard her talk and I realized that she was just a normal person who looked unapproachable but in reality, was very cool. We became good friends and always hung out together.
I’m writing this to share her story because she is one of the strongest people I know.
My friend’s mother was mentally sick for a long time but everything about her seemed to be under control. She was regular with her sessions and medicines but things started to get out of hand when her father passed away. Being a strong woman, she didn’t fall apart. However, when their financial condition trembled a bit, she lost it.
We know for a fact that:
A daughter always sees her mother as the strongest woman.
But now, my friend was seeing her mother’s vulnerability. We don’t talk about this much that the people surrounding mentally sick patients or their families have to tolerate a lot. For example, I remember talking to her on the phone and listening to her mother being so angry over a minute issue like why isn’t her tissue pack on her side table.
The circumstances are very harsh at such times for the family and friends in such cases. They have to go through a lot.
My friend’s mother used to suspect her of impossible things. She went home and her mother would already imagine a whole scenario. She would then accuse her of not being truthful with her. All of this became extremely difficult and painful for her.
I still remember how her health was depleting day by day. She used to be so afraid all the time that her sleep was disturbed. She was always on the edge and thought that her mother would start scolding her out of nowhere. She used to sleep in class and every time I asked her to do something about it, she told me that they are trying to work it out. They had appointed a nurse to take care of her mom and her father would take care of her after coming home from work. Her mom usually stayed normal but had her hostility episodes often.
All they needed was a ray of hope but my friend’s strength and health were no longer reliable. That’s when I suggested she should move to some other place. She refused it at first by saying that my family needs me but I tried to make her realise that
Our life needs us more than what others need from us.
I reasoned with her that it was a make-or-break point of our careers and we had every right to prioritise our futures over everything else. Besides, even her mom, in her sane senses, wouldn’t want her to leave everything just to look after her.
She decided to work on my advice and on discussing this matter with her father, shifted to the hostel of a training centre near our school. Her family trusted her more than anything but they were worried because doing so is considered a bold step in our society. In her case, however, it was the right thing to do.
The improvement in her life began when she reached that training centre, the atmosphere there was amazing with healthy and strong girls. She was so weak physically and mentally that whenever she would lie down on the bed, she’d pass out. Blacking out was usual for her.
The woman who owned that place made her realize how wrong it is to live in such kind of pain and neglect your health. She had a motto which every young girl would repeat for self-motivation:
One life, one chance, one opportunity.
We used to hang out there. It was very inspiring because every girl there had been through a lot. Some were orphans and others went through difficult times in their lives. I used to feel this positive energy whenever I was there because of its environment with young women supporting one another.
I was very happy to see her improve but she had this guilt that her mother needs her and she’s not there. She used to visit them almost every day but she would not stay with them. Her father and mother reassured her too that whatever she was doing, they support her and it was the right thing to do. So eventually, she overcame it.
She was now a healthy young person who was much stronger than the new girl in high school all because of one bold step. It required courage but she did it and in the end, it was worth it.
Later one day, when she went to her house to visit her family, they were very happy to see her. As usual, her father was very proud but her mother, on the other hand, didn’t recognize her at first. It was astonishing for her but after some time, she started talking to her normally like nothing had happened.
The good thing is that they have realized the importance of peace in life and it is gradually lowering the pain. This is why I believe she is one of the strongest people I know.
There are many people who are living with worse circumstances and suffer every day. I value their struggle but if it requires the sacrifice of mental health and peace then it’s not worth it. This is a bitter truth to accept and many of us neglect it intentionally or unintentionally.
I just hope we heal from the things that are painful and indescribable.
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That’s all for now. Thank you for reading.
