How I Silenced the Weight of Expectations
“The heaviest burdens we carry are the expectations of others.”
At the time I found this quote, it seemed like a simple observation, something that resonated but didn’t quite hit home. But as I grew older, as life became more complex, the meaning of that quote unfolded before me in ways I never anticipated.
Every day, I wake up with a weight on my shoulders, an invisible load that presses down on me, making each step a little harder.
This weight isn’t something I can shed like a heavy coat or leave behind like a forgotten bag. It’s the expectations placed upon me by family, friends, society, and perhaps the harshest critic of all — myself.
From the moment I was old enough to understand, there were expectations: Be a good student, a good child, a good friend. Excel in school, make everyone proud, don’t make mistakes. Each expectation was like a brick, placed carefully upon me, one by one, until the load became almost unbearable.
At first, I didn’t notice the burden. I was too busy trying to live up to these expectations, to be the person everyone wanted me to be. But slowly, the cracks started to show. The pressure to succeed, to be perfect, became overwhelming. And the worst part was, I couldn’t let anyone see that I was struggling. After all, people were counting on me.
I tried to escape in small ways. I’d immerse myself in work, in hobbies, in anything that would allow me to forget, even for a moment, the expectations that loomed over me. But no matter where I went or what I did, they were always there, like a shadow I couldn’t outrun.
Friends would ask why I seemed distant, why I no longer joined in the activities I once loved. How could I explain that I felt like I was drowning? That every time I met one expectation, another would take its place? It was easier to smile, to say I was just busy, than to admit that I felt like I was slowly suffocating under the weight of it all.
It’s ironic how being surrounded by people can make you feel so isolated.
There are nights when I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, and wonder what it would be like to live without this burden. To wake up and simply be, without the constant need to prove myself. I dream of a life where I’m not defined by the expectations of others, where I can follow my own path, free from the fear of disappointment.
But for now, that’s all it is — a dream. The reality is that these expectations are ingrained in every aspect of my life. They dictate my choices, influence my actions, and shape my thoughts. And as much as I long to break free, I don’t know how.
I’ve tried to talk about it, to explain how I feel, but it’s hard. People don’t understand. They see me as someone who has it all together, someone who’s strong and capable. “You’re just being too hard on yourself,” they say. “Everyone goes through this.” But that doesn’t make it any easier. If anything, it makes the burden heavier because now I feel guilty for struggling.
The hardest part is knowing that I’m not alone in this. So many people carry similar burdens, silently struggling under the weight of expectations they didn’t ask for. Yet, we rarely talk about it. We pretend we’re fine, even when we’re not, because admitting otherwise feels like failure.
On the worst days, I feel completely lost. It’s as if I’m trapped in a maze with no way out, each path leading back to the same place — another expectation, another burden. But even in those moments, I hold onto hope. Hope that one day, I’ll find the strength to set down this load, to walk away from the expectations that have weighed me down for so long.
SO I’ll keep dreaming of the day when I can finally breathe easy, free from the silent weight of expectations.
