Hide Your Mistakes

“It’s the Carpenter’s Creed!” says Willie the Woodbutcher.

Willie working on-site. Photo by Author.

On occasion, it is my pleasure to assist Willie the Woodbutcher in creating masterpieces in cabinetry. He does the skilled jobs. I’m the laborer, the gopher, the schlep. I hold the stupid end of the tape measure.

One might think such tasks are less than fulfilling. On the contrary, working with one’s hands is a need poorly served in our culture, and not properly valued. Currently, all the tradesmen lament the fact that there are so few young people following in their footsteps. The work is physical, and sometimes hard, but rewarding and provides a good living.

Willie often performs feats of strength and balance. Photo by Author.

To behold the progress made in the course of a day is a wonderful thing.

Willie frames current progress as the author takes this photo.

And the work is also cerebral. A great deal of planning and creativity goes into any task. And math. Gotta measure and figure and play a little Tetris before you cut that plywood sheet.

Failed Geometry? Stop reading now. Better find a less skilled job.

“Dammit, I’ve cut this board 3 times, and it’s still too short.”

The Inner Sanctum, which is also the shop where most of the figurin’ happens. Photo by Author.

There are many ways to approach a task. Some are futile, some are successful but tedious, some are efficient, and some combine skill, knowledge, and aesthetic sensibility to create art. Cabinetry which executes its purpose while also exhibiting beauty is such.

The experienced carpenter maximizes the bang for the buck and keeps his wits about him while working with the salve of humor. He also knows the difference between those who are lucky and those who are very, very skillful.

“Will you look at that? It fits right in.”

“I’d rather be lucky than good any day of the week,“ says Willie, “lucky” once again.

But the driving force behind all carpentry, and building in general, is layering materials so that all the mistakes and accumulated errors are not visible.

“Thought I’d made an error, once,” says Willie, “but I was mistaken.”

“Willie would not do this,” notes the author, who took this photo, “or at least not admit it.”

Baseboard covers the ugly mismatched junction between vertical drywall and unfinished, not-quite-to-the-wall floor. Quarter round covers the junction between that baseboard and the floor. It’s also flexible enough to mimic the variations where the floor may be not quite level.

“NEVER USE THE P-WORD!” Willie often reminds me.

Willie dials in a necessary imperfection as the author snaps photos. “Watch what you’re doin’, Willie!”

Nothing is ever quite exact, so accept that fact and mask those objectionable imperfections. It’s OK to use the im-p-word.

And we can all learn from Willie and do more to create functional beauty even while accommodating imperfections.

Photo of finished cabinetry in service by Author. Willie’s contact info available by request.

Bonus anecdotes from Willie and his schlep:

• “Wow, that hurts! Who put the long nails in the nailgun?”
• In response to an assistant who had forgotten a basic tool (pencil, hammer, tape measure, etc.), “Did you remember to put on underwear?”
• When a flunky is taking overlong to position a board of inconsequential placement, “Nail it before it rots!”
• “You can’t see it from my house,” is what Willie says when the flunky laments the final position.
• “We aren’t building a piano,” and “This ain’t no cathedral,” are commonly uttered to those who don’t understand the Carpenter’s Creed.

And finally:

A young apprentice goes to the lumberyard and orders 40 two-by-fours (boards). The clerk asks him, “How long does your boss need them ?”

“50 years,” he answers. “We’re building a house.”