How do you survive vicious, narcissistic parents?
Children of perverse narcissistic parents, from a very early age, are programmed to satisfy their infinite demands so that their egos are enhanced.
As a general rule, any expression that could overshadow the image of grandeur, the stage, and the shine that these parents so much pursue must be exterminated. In this silent agreement, it is subliminally agreed that children can never appear to be more than their parents, and they should never consider showing their light.
Otherwise, they will face all kinds of retaliation. As if that were not enough, those who dare to wake up and even those unaware of what is happening are at the mercy of this subjugation, with no alternatives, are still induced to present themselves to the world as the prototype of the ideal family.
When there is some clarity about the drama in which they are involved, at the slightest sign of revolt, as a coercive force, they receive all kinds of humiliation, disqualification, and blame.
A dictatorship inside a prison that aims to return them to the unconsciousness of the facts, keeping them at their service.
In their antics, when these parents are revealed, they usually behave like victims, accusing their children of being bad, abusing the role they have as parents, and inserting blame to make them retreat in their perceptions.
As a result, they often resort to manipulative maneuvers such as gaslighting, which is a pattern of psychological abuse in which lived realities are retold in a completely distorted way and where important facts are omitted, disqualified, or invented.
These pathological types of parents intend to make the victims, in this case, the children, doubt their memories, perceptions, and sanity so that they can continue to exist above everything and everyone.
The child who dares to reveal what is happening beneath the camouflaged actions will receive all sorts of emotional attacks. Parents will fight with the blind certainty that they will be able to anesthetize their "children" again.
One of the most terrible aspects of this state of mental illness is the real emotional inability to recognize the harm they do to their children. They reverse their responsibilities by playing hardball when they accuse them of exaggerating the unpleasant situations they caused, trying to diminish what they did or said.
The biggest paradox occurs when they aim to disqualify the importance of what they do. Still, in their speeches, they warn that they are super hurt by the amount of proportion their children give to what happened, often using irony.
As long as these children do not understand that their parents have a pathological illness, they will probably experience distressing feelings, always waiting for a new attack, which will inevitably come.
Learning that perverse narcissistic parents tend to undermine any optimistic expression that a child may have towards life. Learning that when unmasked in their "jokes", disqualifying references, or unedifying speeches, they will become madly furious and managing to get out of these difficult scenarios is an arduous task that most of the time requires a lot of therapy so that self-rescue can effectively happen.
Understanding that you can set limits when people are not nice, that you can choose without fear of abandonment, and that you are free to validate yourself without needing to be anxious or hyper-vigilant for fear of criticism, judgment, humiliation, or retaliation is worth a life. Do you think?
