Mental Health Tips
How I Made My Anxiety My Friend
When simple overthinking turns into deafening anxiety, make it work in your favor!
I’ve always been called an ‘overthinker’ by my friends and family. I knew I was, to be honest, but I’d always brush it off by saying, “It helps me analyze things clearly.” It was my coping mechanism to account for unforeseen circumstances. I felt I had thought about it so I could control the outcome.
I was a thinker, and still am, and I wore my overthinking like a badge of honor. Over time, I didn’t realize how deeply ingrained the overthinking had become.
As a child, decision-making wasn’t as taxing as it is as an adult. Consequences and risks were low, and so the overthinking served me well. But as I became an adult and had to start making decisions about my life and career where the consequences were solely mine to face, the overthinking turned into anxiety.
I was perpetually overthinking scenarios and outcomes, and with that, the anxiety became deafening. It reached a point where my mind felt tired before the day had even started. It felt heavy and drained, and I couldn’t focus on simple tasks throughout the day. It didn’t stop. It worked overtime. That’s when I knew this had to change or be channeled into something more positive.
So here’s the thing: I couldn’t just ask my body to stop. Our minds don’t work that way. If it was that simple, we’d all have great mental health. “Mind over matter.” I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase. The key to this was for me to cheat my mind. I had tons of energy; I was just spending it in the wrong way.
This is what I did:
Worked out
This is really my number one suggestion because I can’t vouch enough for how much it has helped me mentally and physically. I spent so much energy thinking, and I had to divert it elsewhere. Working out regularly releases endorphins that control your mood and feeling of well-being and decrease muscle tension. My anxiety automatically became less. Most successful people already promote this as a life hack and I couldn’t agree more. You don’t know this until you start it and reap the benefits. It’s hard work, but everything in life is!
Changed the way I talked to myself
I had to realize and accept that overthinking was not serving me as it used to anymore. Maybe it did in the past, and maybe it still does sometimes, but more often than not, the anxiety that came as a result of it, crippled me. I had to accept that it was taking away from daily living. The way I talked to myself was toxic. I was so harsh and I always thought that pushed me to achieve my best. But I was wrong.
It fed so much fear to my mind constantly that it was programmed to think out of fear rather than freedom. All my anxiety stemmed from negative outcomes of situations that I’d convinced myself could happen so I’d be prepared enough for any eventuality. I started talking to my ‘inner child’ like an encouraging parent. This may sound funny, but it works. It’s not just how you talk to yourself that matters, but the tone in which you do, also matters.
Changed my surroundings and zoomed out
Very often, our mind gets caught in a certain style of thinking based on our physical surroundings. We feel certain things will play out a certain way based on location. I worked from home a lot (during and post covid), so I tried to work from cafes more often and get out of the city when possible.
Zooming out and putting yourself in different environments exposes you to different perspectives and people and you realize possibilities and outcomes of situations are endless. It was just my mind convincing me that I could account for all.
Worked on things in my control
Overthinking and anxiety stem from a sense of control. We want to control outcomes and expect life to play out in a way that is acceptable for us or that we’re prepared for. The truth is that not even the best of gurus or pandits can predict all outcomes, and there are possibilities beyond our control.
Every time I sense my anxiety skyrocketing, I ask myself “Are you doing everything in your control to ensure you’re prepared for this situation?” If the answer is yes, I realize I’m handicapped beyond that. It’s scary, but thinking about it won’t change the outcome. The most important step is recognizing when anxiety is hitting you and why and really breaking that moment down to yourself.
Found ways to love myself
Anxiety is a coping protective mechanism.I learned to look at this positively. Anxiety is protective. It meant I cared about myself and what could happen to me. What a revelation! If I cared about myself so much, why didn’t I love myself enough?
Caring is not the same as loving. Instead of just spending time ‘worrying’ and ‘thinking’, what else could I do for myself? I gave myself that extra dessert, bought myself a coffee, and spent more alone time reading rather than thinking. It took a lot of time to change these things slowly and realize the difference it was compounding to in me.
Limited social media time
Social media had a way of spiking my anxiety. It made me think about the opinions of people who didn’t belong to my life on a daily basis, it made me think I was not doing enough even though I was, and it gave me more clutter and unnecessary information in my mind. Having free time that time I would otherwise spend scrolling became my superpower. My focus increased and my anxiety reduced. Social media is a drug so you have to cut it down gradually or you’ll get back to it. It took me months of being on and off continuously to be okay with being off it completely.
Summarizing…
What have I learned from my anxiety?
- I don’t have all the answers, not just about the future, but even about myself, and it’s okay. You can discover it in due time, in different situations or with the help of a professional.
- Anxiety forced me to address certain issues about myself that in turn, made me a better version of myself and pushed me to achieve the best I could in my control.
- It helped me differentiate and sort through facts versus feelings. When I overthink and my anxiety is out of control, I write down what’s a fact and what’s a feeling based on that fact, and then I zoom out.
- I am the only person limiting myself, and only I can change that. The way and tone in which I speak to myself matters.
Humans are getting smarter, our minds are being fed more information, they’re being exposed to different scenarios, and we’re unable to sort through it and process it fast enough. Generations in the future maybe evolved enough to deal with it better, but things changing too much, too fast, is a recipe for disaster with anxiety. This is the age where information overload and exposure overload has started and that’s why taking care of our mental health is one of the biggest forms of self-love we can practice.
It’s crazy how burnt out I felt just by thinking and how calm I feel by freeing myself of thoughts. It’s constantly work in progress but recognizing triggers and actionable changes is the best way to start.
