How To Deal With FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
--
According to a research study (Franchina, Vanden Abeele, J. van Rooij, Lo Coco, and De Marez, 2018), people have a fundamental curiosity about what others are doing and thinking. Thus, we invest time watching others and comparing as it is an adaptable way to fit into society. This concept is congruent with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and its third hierarchy being “love and belonging.”
As humans, we prefer to feel “adequate.” We thrive when we feel accepted and well-received in our community. An effective way to ensure belonging is by having things in common with others, often achieved through learned behavior (also known as observing others).
However, one thing is to learn from others for inclusion purposes. Another thing is to get stuck on the steps of this strategy to compare, envy, criticize, and cultivate unhelpful trains of thought — FOMO being one of them.
Fear of missing out (FOMO) is known as the feeling that you are missing out on experiences that others are having.
When experiencing FOMO, you will notice that you become aware of what someone else is doing. Next, you contemplate their experience. Quickly after, you think of how “you wish you were there” or “you wish you had that.”
This train of thought gets saved in a file in your brain and becomes a recurrent trigger that gets reassured as you continue to idealize what others do and have that you don’t. Suddenly, you have created a thought pattern with the underlying message that you don’t have what you want — you live in scarcity.
Comparisons, envy, self-criticism, and fear of missing out, have one thing in common; being a focus on “scarcity.”
A scarcity mindset involves a fixation on the things you are lacking. Scarcity does not only imply a physical limitation of lack of food or shelter, but it also fits a frame of mind in which we automatically tunnel on “unfulfilled” needs and wants.
This mindset on scarcity can become something positive or negative for you — depending on your perspective about life.
Commonly, people with a scarcity mindset are influenced by a harmful fixation on what they don’t have, which causes them to neglect what they have and the possibilities of achieving more. This tunneling effect inhibits people from being resourceful and proactive. It’s simple, focusing on one thing will make you neglect other things.
On the flip side, some people can identify what they lack and immediately choose to be proactive about it. For example, these people notice a deadline and try to make the most of their time. Or note a need to acquire a material thing, and go on a saving plan to purchase it. These people sense the pressure of scarcity and choose to do better for themselves. This is the mindset you need.
Another approach is the practice of manifesting abundance. But careful here, do not get into the trap of “wishing for things” — because that’s what FOMO is all about. Instead, you will set your mind to prepare you to get the things you want, and you achieve that by fostering a positive vibration in your mind, so it motivates you to take the steps towards obtaining what you want. That is the key to manifestation.
Stop engaging in patterns that tunnel you and limit you to live vicariously through other people’s lives. Stop thinking that when the timer is about to go off, it’s time to drop the ball. Stop wishing and dreaming with an untrained mind.
What you need to do today is:
- Stop looking at what others are doing and decide what YOU want to do.
- Prepare your mind for manifestation
- And, sprint past the end line.
This strategy will change your life.
Daniela Marin | Licensed Therapist | Founder of Healing Right
