How to Figure Out When You’re in Your Comfort Zone
Comfort zones aren’t necessarily bad. Here’s how I decipher when it’s time for to get out of them.
I’m someone who loves being in my comfort zone. I’m also someone who loves evolving and growing.
I’m someone who loves being alone for hours at end. I’m also someone who loves meeting new people.
I’m someone who knows what I want. But I’m also someone who’s open to trying new things.
Clearly, I’m always in conflict with myself. Do you find yourself facing these opposing thoughts too?
I often find myself in a space questioning everything I do because it contradicts the other side of me.
When do I know I’m in my comfort zone? When is it really time to break out? How much is enough? If you’re reading this, you’re proabably facing a similar dilemma.
These are tough questions to answer when you know what you want and who you are at your core. But sometimes life throws something new at you, and you wonder why. Often by default, I take it as something that I must go through because it came my way. Perhaps because I’ve become too comfortable being the way I am. I probably wouldn’t invite a high degree of uncomfortable change voluntarily.
Let’s say hypothetically, you’ve decided to go from A to B. You’re building comfort with this decision. But life suddenly says, “Hey, how about you just go to C first?”
C is not what I want. But life presents C in a way that you almost feel too guilty if you don’t check it out. It’s like a gift-wrapped present that doesn’t interest you but piques your curiosity just enough to know what’s inside.
How do you convince yourself that C is worth going to? How do you convince yourself that it’s time to step out of your comfort zone, which was your initial journey from A to B and take a pit stop at C?
This happened to me recently and I really had to wake up the other side of me. I had to remind myself that ‘C’ may not be my comfort zone, but I like trying new things too. What’s the worst that could happen? I’ll realize I shouldn’t have come to C. The next time I know better.
But what if C makes it easier to get to B or C leads to something like B but better?
Here are some ways I realize I’m becoming too comfortable and it’s time for growth:
Region beta paradox
I’ve been operating a certain way for long enough, and some things start getting to me. But since I’m used to the setup, I continue. This is called the region beta paradox. It’s the idea that sometimes people can recover or change more quickly from distressing situations than less distressing ones.
When something is bad enough, you’re motivated to initiate change. The scary part about being in a comfort zone is that you know it’s not distressing enough to change, you’re okay with it but, you’d like change. The important part is to recognize this feeling. What you do with it, is ultimately up to you.
I become critical of newness
This is natural and human because we resist change. It’s not that opportunities for growth don’t come my way. But when they do, I start analyzing them too critically and rejecting them. When I do this, I realize that I’ve sunk into a state of inertia where I’m convincing myself that the opportunity is not for me. I don’t think embracing change is necessary just because it’s inevitable. You can be human in resisting it for long enough to realize that resisting isn’t an option.
I find myself thinking that something else could be cool to try
I’ve often thought, “It would be cool to try that.” or “I wish I could be this way.” Usually, it’s only fear and hard work that stops us from doing what we want. To shed these feelings requires getting out of your comfort zone. That’s when I realize that it’s time for me to evolve and shed some layers to truly be who I want to.
I lack feelings of excitement over a long period of time
When I’ve been doing something for too long, it becomes predictable. My routine looks repetitive for days on end. Growth is extremely slow, and that sense of new learning, the butterflies in my stomach when dealing with a challenge, the anxiety of not knowing what it will lead to, and the under-confidence until I master a task is missing.
I think routines, repetition and getting bored are very important, but when it’s for prolonged periods and you find your body craving something different, it probably means you do.
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” — Confucius
Being honest with yourself
I think the biggest factor in figuring out if you’re in a comfort zone or not is being honest with yourself. There is no replacement for this. Everybody knows exactly when they’re lying to themselves and when they’re being honest. Some embrace it and others brush it away. This has been a guiding factor in most decisions I make. Run your own analysis of the pros and cons, and if you’re true to yourself, you’ll know if it’s time for change or not.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is hard. You’re bound to face discomfort, feelings of anxiety, under-confidence, and excitement. Periodically leaving your comfort zone requires you to have a growth mindset and this keeps your body adaptable and open to change.
What I like to do is note down things all the things I do outside my comfort zone each year so I know how open to change I’ve been and if I need to perhaps push myself to grow a little bit more.
The only person responsible for your growth is you, so it really comes down to looking out for yourself.
