If You’re Grown Up, Grow Up
Adding listening skills will help solve race issues
After forwarding a friend an essay I wrote about how dating algorithms have negative consequences for Black people, “Is Tinder Racist,” he texted me back a fairly common reaction.
“I’m so tired of people playing the race card.”
Not one to shy away from sarcasm, I responded:
“Imagine how tired Black people are of racism.”
Over the last decade, I’ve noticed that many of us tend to invalidate anyone who expresses a view or experience that isn’t our own without actually hearing what the other person is saying. This is particularly true with race.
I’m rarely accused of being an adult, but I’ve learned over decades on this earth that one of the most important parts of evolving is learning to be a better listener. Growing up means using our ears as much, if not more, than we use our mouths.
So when my Black friend David tells me that for the fourth time, he was pulled over by police driving in his own neighborhood and asked to step out of his vehicle, I can hear his pain. I am not sure what “race card” makes us bent out of shape when someone shares such things.
This is David’s experience. It’s his existence. No amount of policy disputes…
