Leading With Love
And what does it mean for you?
Over the weekend, I had a profound conversation with one of my mentors. Having people in my network who will look at life positively when it is difficult for me to do it is such a blessing, and I always count my blessings twice with them.
At the beginning of the year, she asked how you wanted to show up for yourself and others this year. I said I honestly needed to think through it; I don’t feel anything now.
Last year, I mentioned to her that no matter what, I needed to wrap up something that I had been working on for nearly two years. I wanted to “show up with resilience,” and honestly, I did. No matter what had come up, I showed up the best I could and wrapped it up because that’s the power of setting an intention at the beginning of the year.
After some introspection, I told her I wanted to lead with love towards myself and others this year. And I explained to her what I meant by that:
1. Honouring the boundaries I set for myself:
Honouring the boundaries we set for ourselves is a form of self-love. Saying I have to log off now - so that I don’t have to eat dinner late or need not miss my evening walk. Saying sorry, I can’t take a call now and will get back to you — so I don’t miss that 30 minutes on the yoga mat. Showing up for the workouts as much as possible without making excuses. Saying, “I don’t appreciate how you just spoke” when someone makes me uncomfortable.
2. Being more kind and less right:
Beginning of the year, when I posted something for sale, I was so pissed off how someone said they would pick it up and later didn’t show up and texted saying sorry they couldn’t come up due to personal reasons; I replied, “Ok.” Honestly, after a day, I thought to myself, what is that I am losing here? I can put it on sale again, and someone will buy it. They might have valid reasons they couldn’t come to pick it up or didn’t want it. I get it; I wasted a day, but it wasn’t a big deal. When I said this to my friend, she told me I could reply better even now, and I texted, "No worries, Hope you find something you are looking for, and thanks for letting me know”. Honestly, that put me in a better state immediately.
3. Aspiring to be for others what I desire others to be for me:
Oftentimes, when I think of all the things I love when others do for me, I shouldn’t forget that there is joy in doing the same things for others — Being that person In groups who asks others, “ Hey, were you trying to say something? You were cut off”, acknowledging everyone’s presence at a social gathering and making sure no one person has left out especially the less spoken ones, keeping up the commitments with people who matter — even as simple as I will meet you for tea today, and cooking food for others when possible, when I admire something about someone saying it to them, expressing gratitude, and never missing out on a chance to give bear hugs to loved ones and most importantly making the other person seen, heard and understood.
4.No more avoiding conflicts and difficult conversations:
Nope, I am never going to react to unnecessary situations. But, on average, the number of times I felt I shouldn’t have kept quiet when someone said or did something that made me uncomfortable last year was more than I wanted. This year and going forward, when I act with my highest integrity and someone says or does something not nice, I will speak up for myself. I will never let the fear stop me from taking ownership of speaking up for myself. No more having the good girl behavior that doesn’t serve me.
5. Creating safe space:
The most important thing in life is to have safe spaces. People with whom you can share life’s best and worst. Investing time and energy to build those relationships and always being a safe space for others — Listening without judgment, showing understanding, and being that person who says “I’m here for you, and I want to support you in any way I can. How can I help you through this?” when someone goes through anything tough.
“We can’t be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls.” — By Brene Brown
