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Humanity
Living “Long Enough”
The invisible veil to cross
As we age, if one is lucky enough to live “long enough” for it to become important, there are two ways to think of death, the inevitable end we must all reach one day.
The first is to deny its existence. To continue as if one will live forever, never saying the word aloud, rarely thinking it, not planning for it until it is too late, or never. In many cultures and religions, including Christianity, denying death is common. A human works until the end. My father was one of these. He had no concept of retiring from his high-pay government job, spending his days tending the garden when the weather was cool enough, and sitting on the porch, smoking one of his pipes, when it was not. This way is not conducive to helping your heirs deal with the loss of your earthly presence. It is almost guaranteed to increase the stress, finger-pointing, and even their anger at that loss.
There is a better way.
The second is to deal with it. Ponder, think about it, and plan for those final days on the Earth. Make death part of life. That might be one of the least pleasant thoughts we all have, but accept the end and deal with it. This is why people make wills and testaments, why they share their afterlife wishes with family.
Do you want to be buried or do you want to be cremated? If buried, do you want to be buried in a certain place or within a certain distance from the point of death? Can your life’s journey plan well enough for it, meaning are you close enough to your preferred burial site at all times? Have you plans for contingencies, the “what ifs” that pop up?
As unpleasant as it is, we know there will come a time when we will cross that unseen veil that separates us from the innumerable worlds of God, and no longer walk the paths of this earth. Though your final wishes might be included in your last will, that document might not be found and recorded until after certain final acts have taken place. Tell your family now, while you are alive. Write it down for them and anyone searching for it. No doubt it can be a hard conversation; many Western Christian cultures avoid talking about death as if it will prevent it.
Taking care of one’s earthly business can mitigate the potential for years-long legal troubles in probate court, at a time when emotions are frayed and lawyers plentiful. The act of preparing for the end does not have to be fraught with difficulty and must not be ignored; it can be accomplished with detachment. One goes to a solicitor, makes a list of assets and liabilities, and deals with myriad details of a life. Then one decides who or what gets the material goods at the end, the paperwork is stamped, filed, and stored, awaiting its final reveal. Forgotten until needed.
Have the conversation. Doing so will be much easier on them than the possible legal ramifications of leaving the decisions up to a state’s probate court system.
