My Promise To My Daughters
Dear Girls,
Since each of your births, the only talk about your bodies has been in celebration of all that they can do. From rolling over to taking your first steps to starting soccer and swim lessons, every movement has been an accomplishment, every new skill a revelation.
But I know the day is coming, probably far sooner than I’d like, when you will hear for the first time the words that society at large uses to describe bodies. Words that, once heard, cannot be unlearned.
Once that happens, I will hasten to shape your self-talk, to keep you from subjecting yourself to doubts that your bodies, the ones you have taken pride in since you first pulled yourselves to stand, still have worth in a culture that prizes self-criticism. I will make my best attempt, but in reality, the clock will have started long before I first hear it tick. All I can do in the meantime is to lay the foundation that I hope will hold you somewhat steady when you first confront realities far harsher than what your parents create and control.
Building that bedrock won’t be easy. My own bodily obsession dates back to elementary school. The idea that I could “earn” food through exercise goes back nearly as long. I am intimately familiar with the vicious cycle of bingeing forbidden foods to cope with negative feelings, only to end up feeling worse…
