Quit Trying To Be A Superhero
Hi there, superhero!
How are you?
Are you working on a lot of projects simultaneously?
Are you planning a holiday?
Are you taking care of the family?
Are you paying the bills?
Are you hitting the gym every day?
Are you going out with friends?
And is it always solving problems that are not even yours?
I bet you’re doing it all. But here’s the thing: You’re not a superhero. So quit acting like one.
You can’t do everything by yourself.
I thought I was Superman for a while because I did almost everything.
But I wasn’t Superman. I was an idiot.
You might think that too much work and responsibilities cause burnout.
Well, that wasn’t my biggest problem.
Over the years, I gradually built up my workload. I compare working to running. When you start, you can’t run a marathon. You build up the intensity through regular exercise.
That’s also how it goes with hard work. Over the years, you’ll better cope with stress, be more effective, and work more hours.
But it requires you to put in the work every day. If you dread work, you can’t handle much work and always look for pleasure.
I bet you can handle a lot of work, but that’s not important.
The question you should ask yourself is not, “Can I handle hard work?”
You must ask: “Do I want to do everything?”
The reason is simple. Superheroes take on too many responsibilities — that behaviour isolates you from the people in your life.
And you don’t want to end up as a lonely superhero who can do it all.
What for?
The 14th and current Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, said it best:
“Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering.”
Superhero behaviour is simply self-absorbed behaviour in disguise. And you know what happens to people who end up alone? They die earlier.
It’s time to retire your cape. Here’s how.
Don’t expect so much from yourself
Superhero behaviour starts with internal expectations: “I should do this. No one else will do it.” If that’s your thought process, you’re wrong.
Release the pressure and tell yourself: “So what?”
That’s more an attitude than lazy behaviour. You don’t want to scream “I don’t give a f**k!” and give up on everything in life.
No, still be responsible.
Own your life.
But understand that not EVERYTHING rests on your shoulders. Also, why must you do everything yourself? That brings us to the next strategy.
Trust others
Superheroes always pretend they do things to “help” people.
But they’re saying: “I don’t trust others.”
This is especially important if you’re a leader (which is everyone at some point). If you want to work with others, you have to trust them. People won’t follow you because you’re smart or because of your great results.
That’s why successful salespeople are often bad managers. They don’t trust others to do the job well.
No genuine trust? Then you’re not a leader.
Trust is hard.
It goes both ways: You trust the other, and the other trusts you. But you have to start.
When you build trust, you will find that people work for each other. That takes the load off everyone’s shoulders, so you don’t even need to be a superhero.
What’s the purpose?
A family, business, relationship, or sports team all need another thing to function well: purpose.
What are we trying to do?
Where are we going?
What are our values?
It’s so simple that we completely disregard it.
We just assume that everyone’s on the same page. That’s why you get conflicts like this: “I thought you knew what we’re trying to accomplish!”
Nope. I didn’t.
How do you expect people to know if you haven’t communicated your purpose?
Do you expect them to smell it?
Or maybe you don’t even know what you’re doing.
That’s okay.
No one’s perfect; if you don’t know your purpose, work on it now.
While you’re at it, remove that cape and tights, too.
The world doesn’t rest on your shoulders.
Go lie on a hammock or something.
We’ll be fine without your superhero contributions.
Kind of liberating, isn’t it?
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Thank you for reading!
Have a wonderful time.
