Self- Love Now
5 ways to incorporate self-love into your day-to-day life
The concept of “self-love” might be elusive. We typically see practical methods to love others — listening to them, assisting them, appreciating them — but when it comes to ourselves, love is often just an emotion rather than something we can practice. As a result, we do not.
This isn’t always because we don’t love ourselves; more often, it’s because we don’t know how to love ourselves in important ways. We have no idea how to actively care for our emotional needs or how to defend ourselves when our love reservoir runs low. It is, however, critical to learn.
Practicing self-love not only makes us healthier individuals, but it also improves our relationships and communities. It improves us for ourselves, for others, and for our larger lives.
With that said, here are five guidelines for practicing self-love:
1. Make a list of your qualities
Make a list of all the things that make you who you are — the good, the terrible, and the weird — to figure out why you should fall in love with yourself. Then, take a closer look at your less-than-awesome characteristics. Is there something you believe is negative solely because it has been said to you by others? Make an effort to cast doubt on the labels that have been placed on you.
People used to tease me about how shy I was when I was younger. I digested their criticism and sought to “come out of my shell” in new ways. When I was unable to do so, I became dissatisfied with who I was as a result of the opinions of others. I’ve learnt through the years that my personality is attractive, regardless of how I express myself and that’s what makes me special.
Other people’s opinions of you are subjective, and they frequently reflect something in themselves that they dislike. Never forget that you are the only person who truly knows you. Allow no one else to define your worth or what it means to be yourself.
2. Speak to yourself in a loving tongue
It never hurts to give yourself a verbal high five, even if you’re one of the few individuals who has totally accepted yourself for who you are.
I convince myself I’m a rock star when I complete a challenging activity or even get myself out the door on time for work in the morning. I congratulate myself on being so fit when I complete a 45-minute elliptical workout without stopping, regardless of how quickly I was going compared to the other gym-goers. Even if I don’t accomplish anything noteworthy, I make it a point to tell myself at least once a day that I am a goddess.
This style of speaking to myself commemorates my transformation from hating myself to loving myself entirely. It may sound cheesy, but try a compliment barrage and see how it changes your perspective.
3. Give yourself a treat
Whether it’s work-life balance or healthy living, fun-food-eating balance, I sometimes have to make a conscious effort to create balance in my life. But when I know I’m on a roll, I try to reward myself.
I work most of the hours of the day as a side-hustler with a full-time job. I work throughout meals, on the bus, and even in the shower to come up with new ideas. I usually spend the rest of my day sleeping, but I do indulge in social events on occasion. Instead of going home to rest after spending the entire weekend writing at a coffee shop, I’ll eat a good meal, drink plenty of water, and then go out with my friends. Of course, sleep is critical, but I find that making time for fun helps me maintain a sense of balance.
4. Make yourself a priority
Make it a priority to put yourself first on your list of things to do. Make time for yourself and do what makes you happy, rather than what makes others happy.
I spent many years oblivious to my own needs in order to fulfill the desires of others. I justified it by telling myself that I needed to prioritize others and that if I didn’t, I’d be selfish. We learn these lessons as children, and while they are not necessarily incorrect, they are imperfect.
Putting others ahead of yourself is the antithesis of living a healthy lifestyle. It isn’t a hallmark of someone who is “good.” It’s a sign that someone isn’t fully immersed in life.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation,” Audre Lorde once stated. Self-love necessitates actively treating yourself as the #1 VIP.
5. Take a break
Don’t be such a jerk to yourself. I realize it’s easier said than done, but try to provide room for errors and personal growth. And remember that learning to appreciate yourself makes it simpler to grow. Whatever happens, remember that you’re trying your best and that you can improve tomorrow.
I used to compare my journey to others’, particularly when it came to my work, before I found the art of self-love. I didn’t want to be in this situation, and I felt ashamed and disappointed in myself. I had to realize that just as we are all different, we all get at our destinations in different ways.
Everything that makes me who I am has contributed to the story of my life, and I must accept it. Furthermore, if the road my decisions have led me down is not one I wish to follow, I must be deliberate in changing it. The only way to do so is to let go of your fear of failure and begin to learn from your errors. Clarity and peace of mind come from knowing that things will happen when they should, not a moment sooner or later.
Consider what you’ve learnt and how it’s assisting you in becoming the person you were meant to be the next time you make a mistake or starting thinking on life’s failures.
There is no one better than oneself to fall in love with. You are the one who has been with you from the beginning and will continue to be with you until the end. So take stock of all the ways you’re unique, and remind yourself why you’re important every day. Reward yourself for being such a fantastic person, and don’t feel bad about doing something that makes you happy.
Give yourself a break; you’ve worked hard for it.
