Sex As a Hole Filler — Why Your Soul Craves More Than Surface Pleasures
Sing Me To Nirvana
“As a writer, stories with sex have been unknown to me. And yet, with no consideration of me, there went my characters into the bedroom…”
🎵 Turn It Up!
I’m like you, I like listening to my favorite songs, the volume up.
Music is auditory, but I like feeling it.
I like to have it resonate with me.
I like for it to touch my soul.
Frankly, in my world, there are two kinds of music, music that moves me, that I consume, that alters my mood and raises my vibe. ♪♪♪
Then there are other sounds which are fine, but I could care less about. 🥱
Lately, the characters in my novel series, who are just as real to me as the people in my life, are playing some amazing songs — metaphorically speaking.
What do my favorite songs have to do with sex as a hole filler? First, let’s talk white rabbits:
Touch My Soul
There are three basic human needs, they are for love, acceptance, and approval. You may not think life is that simple, but I’ve been a teacher of spirituality for twenty years. Anything anyone I’ve worked with has ever wanted has always come down to trying to have one of these three needs met via countless manifestations.
Your ego also chases love, acceptance, and approval, but being dysfunctional, it contorts these, leaving you chasing white rabbits. These are a waste of your energy and tend to wear you out, disappoint you, and leave your energetic frequency vibing low.
Path 1: That Elusive White Rabbit
Let’s make this meaningful to you.
What are you after in life? A promotion? Money? Love? Sex? Getting wasted? Shopping?
In life, there are two paths, simply spoken. (Makes me think about the red and blue pill in “The Matrix,” since I recently saw the last movie.) One path is genuine, the other is a white rabbit. Of course, in “The Matrix” the white rabbit leads Neo to the real world, the point being that things aren’t what you think.
In our world though, (the illusion, or the Maya or dream, as it is also called,) the white rabbit will lead you astray every time.
This rabbit doesn’t exist, it’s just a projection, your ego’s projection. This projection can quickly become an addiction. You talk yourself into believing that having, being, or experiencing the white rabbit will bring you something, but it never does.
Chasing the white rabbit is the path of disillusionment.
You want something, we all do. You think that getting what you want will make you happy, but, if you pay attention to the things you want, you will notice patterns. Shoppers keep wanting to shop, car collectors keep wanting to collect and flirts keep wanting attention. You tend to seek out the same rabbits.
Rabbit Chasing
Initially a white rabbit in the form of drinking or shopping, say, will make you feel great! You’ll have the party of your life, letting loose and letting go! You’ll find the perfect outfit to get you looking and feeling hot! So you drink or shop, regardless of the hangover or the credit card bill. But the next day you're left with a killer headache or sticker shock at what you spent. To make things worse, the clothes lose their luster in days.
Rabbit Hunting
The next time you want to quench that white rabbit thirst, you will have to drink more and spend more to get the same -false- high. Again, as the alcohol allows you to let loose or the new car’s speed runs through your veins, your adrenaline adds to the high. Still, you had to drink more or spend more, and, again, the next day, the headache and luster loss are worse.
The time after that, more still. More cost, more alcohol, more hangover.
The Rabbit Becomes The Hunter
These wants and cravings always promise good — or great — feelings, but that white rabbit takes bigger and bigger jumps. You have to chase harder, spend more money, do more liver damage, miss work more, and after the hunting, you generally feel worse than you initially did before you met the rabbit.
Now the white rabbit isn’t a good time or a good feeling, it’s an addiction.
Just Trying To Feel Good
An addiction is something — anything — that you use to try to feel good. Some feel-good examples people chase:
- good about yourself,
- numb
- satisfied
- drunk
- stoned
- beautiful
- adored
- worshiped
- desired
- valued
- loved
I could go on, but the list is endless. You could be wanting one of countless white rabbits or wants, say a car, a promotion, a vacation, a new partner, new clothes… again, endless. No matter what you want, below the surface, you are really after feeling good or feeling better than you do now.
The trick is that, on this path, no matter what the addiction, or the white rabbit, you’ll wear yourself in an endless pursuit to catch feeling good. More specifically, at its core, you are pursuing feeling loved, accepted, or approved of.
But It Makes No Sense
Why would you give yourself a hangover? Why would you put yourself in so much credit card debt? Why would you risk hurting yourself?
You certainly don’t mean to, you were chasing the white rabbit of feeling good. Unfortunately, this path is a seductive path of self-sabotage.
Path 2: The Path of Authentic Desire
When I write my novels, I enter another world. I enter this world and watch my characters have their adventures, I just transcribe them.
In my series, “Hello From The Other Side,” the love interest pair got more loving than I expected. Bedroom-love.
I wasn’t expecting this.
I’m a spirituality teacher, not a “steam up the windows” writer.
Enter fiction: I’ve been writing for a long time and my writing has always been expository. It wasn’t until a trip to San Miguel de Allende for a three-month stay that I started waking up in the night to see and hear fictitious stories that I transcribed. Spiritual fictitious stories.
So stories with sex have been unknown to me. And yet, with no consideration of me, there went my characters into the bedroom…
Russian Airspace
When I was in high school, my Russian airspace was the parts of my body my boyfriends weren’t allowed to enter without permission. However, my characters haven’t heard of this concept, so they crossed airspace and “PG” rated boundaries without notice.
So I transcribed it. I watched (not as bad as it sounds) them cross boundaries. I observed and transcribed the sexual attraction and became aware of some parts of sexual attraction I hadn’t thought of before.
In my novel series, I end up with two love interests (so far) by Episode 5. To varying degrees, both couples have the strength of their gender flows- a meaningful detail when it comes to sex.
Gender Flow
Let me clarify: gender flow is not the same as a body’s gender. Our universe is made up of positive (masculine) and negative (feminine) energies. When you have both at play, you have flow or movement.
Gender flows are masculine, assertive, feminine, or receptive. Generally speaking, men have predominantly masculine energy and women feminine, but the truth is everyone is a mix and has both. Just like the yin and yang symbol.
So there I am observing my characters, transcribing. I become aware that touch, for them, is electrifying. Sure, that “zing” you feel when you are flirting. But, no, more than that. The men touch the women in such a way that they are asserting energy to them, the women receiving it.
This takes sex to a cosmic level.
Ah, yes! Of course! Tantric sex.
A Tantric Life
The thing about it is that anything can be tantric in the sense that anything can be deeply satisfying, going beyond the surface.
“Your (any human’s) universal purpose is to be loved by their Source”
-The Oracle
You are seeking this at all times, to be loved, accepted, and approved of. Examples:
If you pay attention to the food you receive in your mouth when eating one of your favorite foods, it satisfies more than your hunger.
When I hear my favorite songs, like
“Yeah, I’m on a mission, I don’t need permission;
Living like I’ll hit a hundred and three
This life’s like a fantasy,
Everyone wants to be on (on)…” Mirage, OneRepublic
It’s more than a great tune, it resonates with me. It is deeply fulfilling and the reverberations of the music echo through my body and energy.
Back To Sex, Holes & White Rabbits
My private sex life has always been just that, private. So, writing about my characters was foreign. Sometimes I didn’t know how to put words to what they did and felt:
Arturo stepped behind her, embracing her from behind. This sent a new set of sensations into her, even more intensity. His energy was massive on her back, his whole front touching her back; his arms on hers. She felt a surge of energy all over, embracing her, electrifying her, loving her.
- Hello From The Other Side, Episode 5
To improve my romance writing, I researched some as to how people write about sex. As I read samples, I was surprised at the sexual white rabbits that hopped about.
Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Humans can turn anything into an addiction. The sad thing is that they are pursuing a divine experience but in their hole-filling filling, they remove the electrifying, divine aspects.
Hole Filling
In my world, hole-filling doesn’t mean what you think. It can, but more so, it speaks to using addictions to fill the empty, wounded energetic spaces in yourself.
If you have been on a spiritual path of meditation, mindfulness, and raising your experience, then you have no doubt found that you have weaknesses. Weakness, wounding, or karmic energies are akin to cuts and wounds on your body that leave you exposed. These are energetic holes, places where you are incomplete and that you are meant to transform by raising your frequency. Thus filling your own — energetic — holes.
Yeah, when I researched how people write about sex I found a lot of the other kinds of hole-filling, no doubt! I was surprised, that instead of divine, electromagnetic, and other-worldly sensations, people were writing about f***ing hard, about it hurting and not caring…
Multidimensional, Electrifying Everyday Experiences
Divinity and tantric experiences are heavenly. They are multidimensional, as fulfilling experiences should be. If anything you are doing is not feeding your soul and resonating in you, like your favorite song, check yourself. You may be seeking the white rabbit’s false version of love, acceptance, and approval.
Similar to junk food, which doesn’t truly satisfy your hunger or nourish you, white rabbit experiences look inviting, seductive, and appetizing but they are, especially in the long term, empty.
We are meant to live our desires, our genuine desires. Whether they are for the flesh, as in my characters, for desert, or anything else.
Just make sure yours are multidimensional and that they satisfy you and your soul. Tomorrow you should still be pleased, hangover-free, and still feeling residual vibes from yesterday’s tantric fulfillment.
— -
[_Hello From The Other Side_](https://a.co/d/hpPhowE) on Amazon or on [Audible](https://www.audible.com/pd/Hello-from-the-Other-Side-Audiobook/B0CLZ23D93?action_code=ASSGB149080119000H&share_location=pdp)
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