IMMIGRATION.
Surviving China.
#4 You Might Get Arrested.
#1 — Personal Space Is A Myth.
Forget Privacy.
You will become a novelty to searching eyes — accusatory sometimes. They will stare at you, take pictures and point fingers in your direction.
Some will rub your skin and touch your hair. The audacious ones will go as far as laughing cause to them you are an object of amazement and sometimes ridicule.
Personal space is something you will have to throw out the window. It does not exist.
You might have to emulate being a movie star…constantly being bombarded by the paparazzi, just to make things fun for yourself — otherwise you will dread a task as simple as going to the grocery store.
Just to keep things interesting, the country has a state of the art surveillance system and unbelievable censorship laws. It’s a dream.
#2 — Practice Buddhism.
This is not to say — convert your beliefs and way of life.
‘Practice Buddhism’ in this context insists that you attempt to adapt to a new way of life…without abandoning yourself.
To immerse yourself in Chinese Culture. To learn the language. To get your tongue acquainted with a new cuisine — in the literal sense (their traditional food is impeccable).
When in Rome, do as the Romans do — so to speak.
#3 — Paperwork will be the death of you.
You will come to know that the visa process was designed to make foreigners suffer and that you shall.
It will almost feel like immigration laws were initially designed as medieval torturing methods to get foreigners to confess how much they want to live in this majestic country.
Visiting the bank will heighten the paperwork dread. Everyone in the banking department will be summoned to work on your case if say you’re trying to open a bank account, withdraw some funds or simply inquire bank related stuff.
Half the time, the process is prolonged because of the complexity of your name details or your country of origin. Beautiful Stuff really.
#4 — You might get arrested.
I have friends who have been jailed…whether or not they were guilty is up for debate. I got arrested myself — a story I still don’t have the audacity or clarity to re-tell. Stranger things have happened.
You have to be ready for anything, at any point.
If you decide to start teaching English on a student visa, then make sure you know all the back up exit doors in any space you enter…just in case.
#5 — No. You will not find your soulmate in China. Clowns however, a given. Careful not to become one yourself.
#6 — Liquor will baptize you.
If you are a person who has an impressionable mind, you should most likely stay away from the nightlife.
The booze will baptize you into becoming a committed member of groove. A lifestyle that will be sustainable during weekends. If it exists no longer than that, you will most likely become a decorated alcoholic.
The drinking and smoking culture in China requires a tenacious liver and strong lungs.
#7 — Live Within Your Means
This goes without saying in every aspect of life and whatever country you reside in.
I had a friend…she could almost afford anything and she’d always want to do stuff. Go shopping, go out and anything that would result in spending money.
Keeping up with her became a chore at times. I envied her. Envied how financially abundant she was. Turns out — she was a part-time escort.
That knowledge did not stir any judgemental bone in my body, rather it calmed me down and removed the pressure lodged in my shoulders to always have it all and taught me to live within my means without envying those who can manage to do otherwise.
#8 — Don’t entertain stupid questions
Once, we were on a school trip and a Chinese colleague asked me — “Do you have AIDS?”
To say I was discombobulated would be an understatement. I was beyond ruins. I looked at her with cold eyes and flatly responded — “No, do you?”
A response which seemed to have offended her. Because how dare I assume that about her. In her defense “Don’t all Africans have AIDS?”. And that was my cue to vamoose.
Another time, I was interning at an International Hotel in the East of China and one of my co-workers decided to stand right in my face and rubbed my skin then boldly posed a question —
“You people don’t bath enough, that’s why your skin is black and not pale like ours right?”. I yanked her hand from my skin and walked away fuming.
Granted — in both instances I could have held enough space for these inquiring minds and educated them.
I CHOSE not to because who the fuck even says that. They both said offensive and rude remarks. It had nothing to do with racism or any jargon…they were simply arseholes with no manners.
Living in China is not for the weak hearted. Yes, you will come across some people who are genuinely curious about you and it’s okay to be accommodating.
However, do not get into the habit of entertaining stupid questions I beg you…they get a kick out of it.
#9 — Stay Focused.
I know. I know. It sounds like I’m advising my child who’s going off to college. Stay Focused? Ugh.
It’s way too easy to lose oneself in this country. Everything is accessible. Life is affordable. The world is your oyster type of thing.
There’s too many options. You will make money. You will live comfortably. Everything will be hunky-dory. Except it’s almost always difficult to grow. There’s some sort of stagnancy that comes with the place if you are not actively focused on your personal growth.
#10 — Please Have Fun
I beg you to have a pleasure centered life. Romanticize your life, you are the main character aren’t you?
