The Power of Having Regrets
How regrets help us and our future
The past is a place we tend not to like but yet whenever we’re allowed to think we still go there nonetheless.
It’s always fascinated me why that is.
Why in our heads do we go back to rethink about times we can’t change instead of looking ahead to ponder things we can?
Simply put, because typically, we wish things were different, don’t we?
Now, this won’t be a whole segment on pasts, but it’s something worth thinking about.
Regrets are part of our pasts. Sometimes, we’re regretful over things way beyond our control.
There’s a danger in feeling responsible for things we were never responsible for. However, from which you can take accountability from, perhaps there is reason to feel responsible.
So, if regrets typically aren’t associated with being good, then why are they powerful?
Regret is always worse than rejection
Think about that sentence for a moment. Let it properly marinate in your mind.
Where are instances from your past where you regret not taking action?
Where are periods from days long gone where you regret not being honest with yourself?
What are some general regrets that you have?
If you live by that sentence above, “regret is always worse than rejection", then what do you have to lose?
Don’t regret asking that person on a date. Don’t regret applying for that job. Don’t regret asking that question.
Don’t regret not being able to be you. To be true to yourself and the others around you in that moment.
If you’re rejected for whatever reason in any circumstance, at least you can say you tried, you know? At least you were honest to yourself.
How many nights will you spend lying there in bed wishing things could’ve been different?
If they were circumstances where had you acted, been true to your nature and yourself, upheld honesty to your own beliefs, perhaps things would’ve been different.
The more you push away your actual self, the more you lose touch with yourself.
Being true to yourself isn’t worthy of regret even if you’re rejected for it. You’re not so supposed to align with everyone’s beliefs, principles, and needs.
You can regret being a certain way a few years ago, but if you regret it, then guess what? You obviously have changed for the better if you’re wise enough to see your previous errors.
Mistakes and Their Guidance
Speaking of previous errors, we’ve all made those haven’t we? I know you and me aren’t perfect beings devoid of mistakes.
It’s a rather simple concept. We make a mistake, we learn from it, right?
Yet, nowadays, so many people are quick to automatically pin the blame on external factors. They do this, yet deep down, realize it’s of their own fault.
There’s no shame in admitting to being wrong.
If you admit your error, not only are you being true to yourself, but if it affected someone else you’re already making amends by understanding your wrong.
I know you have some thoughts from your past that pop every know and then where you sit there and think, “Why? Why on Earth did I think that was a good idea?”
Sometimes they’re funny. Sometimes they’re real mood killers.
Whether you look back on it with laughter or with sadness, at least you learned your lesson.
That’s what life is; one continuous lesson.
Mistakes are to guide our future selves. We don’t come into this world with the grace of wisdom and a head full of knowledge. We also use those same mistakes to teach those who will come after us.
With what lessons we learn become our new rules to live by. There should be no regret in that. You can’t regret not being perfect because nobody is. Trying to make yourself perfect is going against a fundamental trait embedded in all living beings; flaw.
Don’t fear mistakes. Mistakes are there to guide us. The only mistakes you should ever be regretful over is if you harmed someone or ruined opportunities for yourself.
Life Lessons
Without feeling remorse for events long gone, we wouldn’t identify the lessons to be learned from them.
Having regrets is key to understanding that as a person, you have evolved.
Sometimes the errors of ones ways isn’t revealed until the damage is returned to them in some capacity — an act of karma if you will. Whether it be directly affecting them or a loved one.
That’s for arguably extreme cases, but if life is primarily blind to us in the sense that we have no idea what possibly lies ahead seconds, minutes, days, years, from now, then it would be understandable to assume someone’s current direction might not be obvious to them right now that a lesson is on its way.
I like to believe that no matter what, with every step we take toward our ideal life we simultaneously prepare ourselves for a test.
That test is completely unknown to you, me, and everyone else.
So, having regrets, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If the regret has come from “failing" said test, then we know what to do for next time — you’re better prepared.
If regrets have formed from undergoing a life lesson, then that regret is laced with an understanding that you have learned from the event.
All regrets are is signs that you’ve evolved as a person and tempered your understandings.
Regrets can form from life lessons. Whilst it’s important to not dwell on them, it is important to take away the positives of things we can feel regretful over. If we focus on the negatives, we’ll only come to regret that too sooner or later.
Regrets and their power
So, regrets are powerful for the simple reason it shows we either underestimated ourselves, we better understand things, we have evolved and learned, and that we have newfound rules to live by.
Whenever during times of regret you can take accountability for your own decisions or actions, then it’s a powerful motivator to do and be better. Those are healthy regrets.
If and when the situation was outside of your control, or you were made victim of another’s wrongdoing, there is no room for regret. You learn nothing besides understanding that person did wrong.
Sure, you can gain perspectives from their side, but ultimately, a healthy regret is something we can learn from to change within ourselves so as we can do better as people.
I hate having regrets, I really do.
I regret the way certain things in my life have gone, but does that mean for the rest of my days I can live in accordance with my newfound principles? Of course.
Does that mean I can live securely knowing I know the same situation can’t repeat itself due to my better educated self? Absolutely.
Regrets will only torment you if you’re not seeking out the lesson from the event you mourn.
You can always wish things were different, but if it’s nothing you can fundamentally change about yourself and how you live your life, then it isn’t worth the thought. What’s been and gone, should stay and buried. The past isn’t worth bringing up if you can’t learn from it.
Thank you for reading.
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